Set point weight crap (for Teresafdp) (Read 1269 times)

Hi there Teresa. I just have to let you know that I am personally in complete, raving agreement of what you said in the previous "weight loss" post regarding your "set point" weight. For background, I'm a 5'9", 41 year old female and an ex-runner who's returned to the running game after 10ish years and 50-60 lbs of excess me. I'm at about 22 miles a week and 4-5 runs a week. I'm working hard at weight training to gain strength and it's going well. I feel good although I don't look like I run etc. My husband commented that I'm definitely looking leaner and he's so wonderfully encouraging. My friend, who did not know me when I used to run and was close to 60lbs lighter, constantly categorizes me as having a big build and that if I were even 30lbs "lighter" (I guess I'm gloomy) I would look anorexic! Meanwhile, it's perfectly okay for her to be exceptionally lean and eat like a rabbit! I guess what she is saying is that she is acceptably lean and that I should not endeavor to be lean like her because I am just not destined to reach those heights. She also looks down her nose at running and thinks that it's not a good choice of exercise, for me or anyone ... the "bad knees" story and all that. I know I could out-run her and I'm sure she secretly doesn't like that. My gripe, which you summed up beautifully, is that set point is an excusable way of accepting excess weight. Labeling someone (and by someone I really mean women) as having a heavier "natural" weight is infuriating. Fat is fat is fat is fat! By trying to convince a woman that she is just meant to be heavy is saying to them that they are hopeless and less worthy of a fit and strong body. I think women (particularly) who are all too happy to deliberately and falsely assuage other women's self-esteem by called them naturally-heavy are maliciously and insidiously sabotaging them. Before I end this tirade, I have to relay another example of esteem sabotage! A few days ago I was golfing. As I said earlier, I've been working hard at strength training and feel pretty good. I was golfing with a lady (she's extremely thin) and a guy with whom I've not golfed with in several months. I hit a fantastic, long drive on a particular hole and the guy commented on what a great shot I hit and that I've definitely improved since the last time we played. The lady called out "gorilla woman!" because it was a long hit compared to most female golfers. I don't think she meant gorilla as in "fit" but gorilla as in "butch". I feel that a lot of women need to boost their sense of "doe-like" femininity by contrasting their perceived, "ideal selves" with those whom they see as the opposite of (or threat to) themselves. Hence ... doe v. gorilla. A HUGE BRAVO to you for NOT ACCEPTING YOUR "SET POINT" WEIGHT. I'm not going to accept mine either! This gorilla has got her sneakers on and she's going to keep running. I hope I get to have my NAH-NAH-NAH-NAH-NAH moment like you have. Sorry if I've ranted on a bit too much but your comment struck a chord with me. (as you might have guessed)

I don't remember that thread, so i'm not really sure what set point is about... but I think women and their bodies are an interesting thing. I'm 5'9 and 155lbs. I think people have a weight that their bodies like to be at. This is mine. I started running a year ago and dieting (to loose 10 lbs for my wedding which was february). I went from a whole 160 to 153. And now reside at 155. I have been within a few lbs of 155 for the last many years. And in my mind I am trim and lean, but have had to come to terms with the fact that I will never be one of those skinny girls... my body isn't built like that... I think loosing weight is wonderful if you have extra pounds to shed, but I do think we have a weight that our bodies are most happy with. That is NEVER overweight though, but it's not necessarily stick skinny either. It's a delicate balance... Regardless of all this... Good luck with your weightloss and i hope you reach a point where you are happy with how you look regardless of what the number on the scale says!!

I find it difficult to imagine not having a base level of fitness and can't understand why some people let themselves go to the point where they can barely manage a set of stairs. )

I wonder this alot too. People look at you like you have snakes sprouting out of your head when you tell them you " run"..... It seems easier to swallow a pill to cure your weight than it does to get out there and move your butt everyday.....

What's up with all this gorilla bashing? Shame on you people. I'm offended.

If you look in the mirror and aren't happy with what you see, then work out. If you have health problems due to being overweight, then lose weight. If you want to compete, then exercise in such a way that you will become stronger at the sport or activity you are interested in. Seems simple enough to me.

For some people, it really may (and should be) that simple, but for some people, that statement could be akin to saying "if you don't like being an alcoholic, quit drinking" - it's not such simple equation for everyone. I am from a family where sports were the number one priority - rather than compete in a hostile environment, I opted out completely (by gaining weight and becoming completely sendentary). In may case, it was neither laziness nor unwillingness that made it difficult for me to get fit or lose weight, but a subconsious need to continue rebelling against a judgement of worth based on physical appearance or fitness. Even now after finally getting off the couch a year ago, it is still a daily battle.

For some people, it really may (and should be) that simple, but for some people, that statement could be akin to saying "if you don't like being an alcoholic, quit drinking" - it's not such simple equation for everyone. I am from a family where sports were the number one priority - rather than compete in a hostile environment, I opted out completely (by gaining weight and becoming completely sendentary). In may case, it was neither laziness nor unwillingness that made it difficult for me to get fit or lose weight, but a subconsious need to continue rebelling against a judgement of worth based on physical appearance or fitness. Even now after finally getting off the couch a year ago, it is still a daily battle.

Yorkshire, it still is that simple. My point was that is what you need to do based upon how you feel. If you are an alcoholic, then by all means the way to not be one is stop drinking. I didn't say it was easy; I just pointed out that that's the path you should take.

What's up with all this gorilla bashing? Shame on you people. I'm offended.

Spanking the monkey, eh? We stress too much about weight. Run (excercise), eat smaller portions, do it consistently and your body should find its equilibrium point - in my uneducated opinion.

I feel that a lot of women need to boost their sense of "doe-like" femininity by contrasting their perceived, "ideal selves" with those whom they see as the opposite of (or threat to) themselves. Hence ... doe v. gorilla.

I lent my MIL this DVD a while back, when she was looking for some beginner/intermediate weight workouts to get started: She took one look at the cover and said "eww, I don't want to look like her...her legs are HUGE." Now, mind you...my MIL is a 5'8" ectormorph...she couldn't get "heavy" legs like that if she did squats 24/7 and gained 50#s. I am built almost exactly like Tamilee Webb, so she was essentially mocking my build to. my. face. She makes little snide comments like this ALL the time. She weighs less than I do and is 4.5" taller than I am...and she whines that she is "fat," even though she is at the ideal weight for her height and build and has almost 30 years on me.