I was on RW for 2 years and I think I PM'd 6 different people in that entire time.
For the record, I hated hated hated the PM function on RWOL. In my four years on RWOL, I never initiated a single PM conversation with anyone.
I did not avoid the PM function for privacy reasons. I avoided the PM function because it was a pain in the neck. I would see that I had a PM message from someone, I would click to check the message and have to wait for a few seconds while cursor dots went back and forth to tell me that my request was being processed. The PM screen would finally appear, I would have to click on the specific message for it to appear, then it would take forever to reply to the person in turn.
I did not even like using the PM function for actual running-related important questions, like someone asking me about a specific race or someone asking me a question about Paleo Diet and running. I would often let messages to me sit for a day or two until I felt like answering them.
Even on this site, private messages are just obtrusive in general, and I never initiate a PM conversation.
Nobody leaves this place without singing the blues.
Wow. Really? I think some of the other women who rec'd messages from him would disagree. As well as many of the rest of us.
Wow. Really? I think some of the other women who rec'd messages from him would disagree.
As well as many of the rest of us.
Yeah, sorry, I do have to chime in here. The one message I got from him was regarding my current avatar pic, when I first changed it to this. This avatar photo is the closest thing to "sexy", or "inviting" that I've ever posted, image or written. Because I value the integrity of my relationship with my husband, I do not flirt with guys online or IRL. Because I don't care to get ogled by creepy people (talking about the occasional incident such as this, guys, not the whole of the board!), I shy away from posting ab, leg, etc. photos. And I frequently post about my husband and kids- I'm pretty sure the vibe I'm sending off is "Happily married mother of many. Not looking." So I'm thinking I didn't send him the wrong message. Creepy people are creepy.
"...You have to have faith, to know that you can do what you want to do." -Joseph Nzau
Hip Redux
ESPECIALLY RACE PICTURES WITH YOUR NUMBER ON IT.
Lots of good stuff in your post - but this too! As I said earlier, even just finishing times in a particular race is enough for someone to get your name, age and town... and from there, you can get a lot of information. It's really, really scary.
I have googled my name. I have a very unusual name and so there is just SO MUCH INFORMATION out there. And part of the reason why I try to stay as anonymous as possible on the web - the connection between random forum and my real life is very easy once people have my name.
Though once I lost my wallet and the person who found it called my work (easy google search) and I got it back. That was cool.
Team TJ
This bugs the fuck out of me. You have been and remain one of the classiest people on these forums (maybe ever since I've joined in 2006). I liken this to intimidation. Please don't cower to shit like this. Put on your internal ignore feature, delete, whatever you have to do. We're on your side here.
I agree +whatever # this is up to now.
Running for TJ because he can't.
Lots of good stuff in your post - but this too! As I said earlier, even just finishing times in a particular race is enough for someone to get your name, age and town... and from there, you can get a lot of information. It's really, really scary. I have googled my name. I have a very unusual name and so there is just SO MUCH INFORMATION out there. And part of the reason why I try to stay as anonymous as possible on the web - the connection between random forum and my real life is very easy once people have my name. Though once I lost my wallet and the person who found it called my work (easy google search) and I got it back. That was cool.
The race photo thing was an eye opener. I will never write a RR with the name of a race again. I've taken a notation from this, of course its after the fact.
Running is my mental-Ctrl-Alt-Del.
Do a google image search of nevrgivup. it's interesting.
And yes, we're all there. You can google image search any member name of the BF and get the same thing. There is nothing new there.
I have googled my name. I have a very unusual name and so there is just SO MUCH INFORMATION out there.
My real name is surprisingly common. It's not exactly "John Smith" common, but there are a lot of us out there. There is another runner with my same name who lives about a half hour north of me, and our names often appear close together for local 10K races. I do not appear at all for the first few pages of a Google search for my name, and I do not appear at all on the first page of a Google image search. Years ago, when I got a library card in a small city, there were already four other library members with my name.
Still, it does not take a rocket scientist to find information.
I haven't read through all of the pages but the more I read the more upset I get so I signed up to post.
I'm not on a first name basis with anyone here except for a couple of people but I do recognize most people from RWOL. I'm a very passive guy and try to focus on the running aspect on these forums but this post really got under my skin. I want to say to those who have been exposed to any form of harassment that I understand what you're feeling. I won't pretend to fully understand what each individual has/is going through but I've had to endure extended periods of physical, mental, and sexual harassment at my place of work by both men and women.
Big props to you Heidi for bringing this out into the open and to others for sharing their experiences.
If y'all haven't already done so, look up your name on "people search" sites, like Spokeo.com. There are ways that you can opt out of having your information posted on those websites. It's a good idea to kill your info on Spokeo.com if you can.
There may or may not be anything new there to you, but there are some/lots (?) of folks here who don't understand how remarkably easy it is to figure out stuff about who people are in real life, where they live, where they work, etc etc etc.
And again, folks, facebook is NOT your friend. And don't think for a minute that being open in one of their private areas is all that secure either.
Yup, I know all this stuff.
And even though I'm not on F/B and have never posted my last name on either R.A. or R.W. and I try to be careful,
if someone really really wanted to they know what they are doing they could connect the dots easily enough.
I stopped naming my races a while ago and in general don' t put them on the "upcoming races" lists that abound.
But sometimes in response to a thread the name will be mentioned.
I also have this set up to alert me if someone is googling me.....I wouldn't say I'm extra paranoid but at least if
someone is really trying to find me I want to know about it if I can.
Also my former screen name and my current screen name (although very clever if I do say so myself) are very
common on the net and they would have to wade through a lot of us.
http://www.google.com/alerts
Don't call me Buttercup!
I am fortunate to have a surprisingly common name. Google my real name and you won't get a single hit that is actually me. *shrug* Still, the internet is not a private place, and we should all be wary of that.
Note, I'm commenting on comments - not on what Heidi posted originally.
Slow and steady wins the.... wait a second! I've been lied to!
I am fortunate to have a surprisingly common name. Google my real name and you won't get a single hit that is actually me. *shrug* Still, the internet is not a private place, and we should all be wary of that. Note, I'm commenting on comments - not on what Heidi posted originally.
Not to put too fine a point on it, but creeps don't stop at googling your name. If you have ever run a race and I know what it is and I know your name (or your time in that race, and voila, I now know your name) I can find out how old you are and what town you are in. I can also send an unassuming email to a race director, and if I'm 1) sincere sounding and 2) he/she is gullible or lazy, I can probably get your email address and whatever mailing address you used. And if I can't, well, I still know what town you live in and sites like spokeo work wonders.
I can do some stuff with your email address. Like pretend to be you. Or sign you up for things. Or use that on various sites I bet you use to see if it is your sign-in ID. And if I get one of those to work, I probably have your credit card number. And a confirmation of your address. And perhaps the address of people you've shipped stuff to. And information about your family. Et cetera.
You don't want to know what kinds of social engineering can be done with a physical mailing address. Or publicly available documents like deeds.
BTW, I am using "I" as shorthand. Real-life "I" (me) would not do this. But it ain't that hard if someone is motivated.
Incidentally, to those of you who are ever in a relationship with someone and you aren't sure if she/he is telling the truth about relationship status, check for deeds. Public info, and some entities put this out on the web for everyone to see. You might find that she/he is listed as "married" in a deed for a house somewhere. That's always a pleasant conversation.
Ask me how I know. Sigh.
Not to put too fine a point on it, but creeps don't stop at googling your name.
Truth. But there are also 60+ of "me" listed on certain "find people" websites in my state alone. I'm not issuing a challenge here, I'm just saying. Actually, I don't know what I'm saying. I'm sleepy, and this whole thing has made my head hurt today.
Also, SRL, you'd tell me if I crossed some perv line, yes? Pretty sure you've been the recipient of many of my "I love you"s on RWOL and now here, but I hope I haven't ever skeeved anyone out.
Truth. But there are also 60+ of "me" listed on certain "find people" websites in my state alone. I'm not issuing a challenge here, I'm just saying. Actually, I don't know what I'm saying. I'm sleepy, and this whole thing has made my head hurt today. Also, SRL, you'd tell me if I crossed some perv line, yes? Pretty sure you've been the recipient of many of my "I love you"s on RWOL and now here, but I hope I haven't ever skeeved anyone out.
Actually, several of you have in fact put me into an interesting boundaries conversation with real world people, yes.