So, hey. It's been a while since I did a 5K race report. I think, probably, about 3 years.

But, for those following along, I'm still knocked up. I'm 16 weeks, 1 day today, and this past weekend, I ran the Columbia Iron Girl 5K at 15 weeks, 4 days. Imma tell you alllll about it.

First of all, let's get the nasty out of the way.

Indeed.

So, I ran the Hot Cocoa Half with minimal pain, and I felt pretty good. However, recovery was not pretty good. I thought I had pulled a groin muscle, but that was several weeks ago, and it's still not gone away. It's most likely pregnancy related, whether the baby's sitting on a nerve (weird, since the baby's tiny at this point) or just my hips shifting and causing my gait to be off, and I don't know how to compensate.

So, my mileage tanked, and with it, my attitude about life. I think I'll be able to do about 15 miles per week should the pain stay the way it is. It sucks. But it's not unbearable. Still, that is not half marathon shape, so I decided to jump down from the Iron Girl half to the 5K. This is not something I enjoyed doing, because I wanted so badly to do 20 half marathons before having kids (Cocoa was 19. Of COURSE it was.). But. While I COULD run/walk it in pain, I'm not interested in doing so. So. I decided we'd still make the trip, I'd still get a medal even for the 5K (not something I normally enjoy about 5Ks, but at least I can hang it in the baby's room), and I'd still get to eat some Maryland Crab.

Let's do this.

However, it wasn't that easy.

Iron Girl had some sort of falling out with. Someone? I don't know, it was a HUGE THING on the website and up until like, a week and a half before the event, we (all the racers) weren't even sure there was a race. But, they said it would go on, we'd still get what we were promised, there would be medical staff and aid, and I figured, ok. I'll do the 5K.

So, we made the drive, and it was pretty quick (I watched DVDs the whole way, so whatever). Stopped by the expo, and I grabbed my shirt and bib, and we were out.

I think I was supposed to get a women's medium. That is a men's large. However, I will probably need a men's large by the end of this pregnancy, so it might be nice to have regardless, and I rarely even wear race shirts. So. Onward.

We checked into the hotel, and let me tell you this story. I emailed them to ASK about their cancellation policy. Just in case, because I didn't know what my leg was doing, and I like to know these things. They emailed me back "thank you for your email. Your reservation has been canceled."

Well, it didn't bore me, because THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS. So, I called them immediately, and they were like "well, we're booked." I was like "Well kick the person out who just took my spot." We went AROUND AND AROUND. They kept saying it was non-refundable but they did me a FAVOR. No, it WAS non-refundable, because Expedia said so, but Expedia said to check with the hotel to be sure which is what I did. They refused to believe that, after 20 minutes of fighting about it and me forwarding Expedia's emails to them. Finally, they rebooked me, through them, not Expedia, and somehow it went from $213 to $179, so ok.

I was ready to fight when I got there, but I do have to say the hotel was nice, and the people were nice. They were all "what brings you here, are you here for the blahblah concert?" Frank and I blinked and I said "I don't know what that is that you just said," and she said "oh, it's a metal concert." Frank and I took turns laughing so hard we cried, and I told her I was running the race, and she asked how far, and because I don't have boundaries, I ended up telling her it was a touchy subject, because I was supposed to do the half, but I had to do the 5K because, pregnant.

The one girl gave me the attention I crave when she said "you're PREGNANT? WHERE?" I assume she meant I did not look pregnant, so I didn't tell her "in my uterus. My husband's penis put it there." Although, I do feel I look pregnant, but I guess maybe to strangers I do not. Then, the other girl was all "YOU ARE RUNNING A 5K??? PREGNANT?" And I of course had to say "well, I ran a half marathon two weeks ago."

AND THE CROWD WAS AMAZED. Seriously. That's all I want out of all of this. I want people to be AMAZED. Even though running is not that amazing pregnant, but still. ATTENTION.

Moving on. We had made reservations based on a recommendation for the Shanty Grille. You should run there, not walk. I forget if I took pictures of my food, but Frank got the scallops as an appetizer and they were AMAZING in some sort of corn sauce. It reminded us of Bobby Flay's restaurants (we've eaten at two and they are always our fave celeb. chef). I couldn't decide, so I told the waiter to pick.

He said "ok." And left.

Right? I mean. I wanted him to pick and then tell me before trotting away. But. He picked the crab dip, and it was indeed amazing, so he lived.

I ordered the crab cake, because that is all I wanted for the last two weeks. Frank got the crab cake cordon bleu, and it was wrapped in pastry. It was every bit as amazing as that sounds, so just think about it.

We then got a slice of the 10-layer chocolate cake to go, because. I don't know. We're fat people? We like cake? Baby? Can I blame it on that? It was Frank's decision, so I feel like I can't blame the baby.

I set my stuff out that night, knowing I had extra time, because ONLY THE 5K GUYS, and we went to sleep.

I'm not going to lie and say this whole trip was fun. I was pretty depressed about it. I'm sad to give up distance running. I'm seeing a chiro this weekend to MAYBE straight out the leg issue, and I can hope to get my miles back up, but I have a half marathon in the middle of May and one the beginning June. June, if I can get back to it quick, I might be able to go with, but for the last two weeks, my miles have been low, and I think it's most likely that I'm done with halfs, and that is difficult for me to accept.

So, in other words, I was sort of a whiny bitch the whole weekend, and we got to the race at 7:05, since the half started at 7, specifically so I didn't have to see them all and be depressed.

ONLY THEY WERE STILL THERE.

And we were ALL still there AN HOUR LATER.

The announcer kept saying "oh, for your safety, we are clearing the course." But what he did not say, and what is going around on their facebook page, is that they MISMARKED the course, and were fixing it. For an HOUR. So, those poor halfers were all breakfasted, peed, pooped, hydrated....and waited for an hour. I was LIVID, and I was only doing the 5K.

So, in summary, this whole experience made me GLAD I didn't do that half. Fuck them and that half. I understand things happen. But with all the trouble with communication and the dropping of the sponsor...then this? No. Not cool. Dangerous even, as the temps went up.

So, we went back to the car, and I saw on my facebook that they posted that the 5K would start 15 minutes after the half, so we headed back over when we saw them go.

No, but it's starting now. Hang on.

So the race started, and I was unsure what to do. My leg was hurting just walking around.

Fuck it. I ran.

There was a fairly large hillish area to start. I felt like I was really dragging, but I ran it. I passed a fairly large amount of people, and I just decided to go with it. I had my Garmin on, but. I mean. It's a 5K. So. I glanced down, but then decided to ignore it.

I finished the first mile in 10:43. It honestly felt faster--that hill was difficult for someone who enjoys the treadmill, and I felt rusty. But.

My leg didn't hurt. I felt pretty fucking good.

Fuck it. I was going to run faster.

I ran faster, past the enthusiastic volunteers (they were really nice--I'll say that), passing people on both sides. I ran the second mile in 10:11.

My leg didn't hurt THAT bad. In fact, while it did hurt a bit at this point, overall, I felt amazing.

Fuck it. I was going to run faster.

I felt AMAZING this last mile. My leg started to bother me more, mostly, though, in my quads, not in the groin area where it had been bothering me previously, and not that bad at all. I felt like I was FLYING, especially compared to MONTHS of 12-minute miles, and lately, even slower.  I ran the 3rd mile in 9:20.

I was picking people off one by one, and at one point, I made eye contact with a runner coming in the other direction. She clapped for me. I think she saw my shirt, and I decided I was going to run this last chunk around the corner to the finish like a bitch. I got down to 8:13 through the chute.

I cried when I ran through the chute. It wasn't a half marathon. I didn't deserve a pile of french fries for all the calories I burned (my favorite part of half marathons). But I ran FAST (for me, for being pregnant, and for being hurt). I felt AMAZING.

My friend here photobombed my finish photos, but I didn't even care.

I gathered my medal, they took my shoe chip, and I got some chocolate milk and a finisher towel. Frank was right dead center at the end of the chute, and he said "Thirty minutes! You thought you'd be closer to 45!" And I just kept saying "It felt amazing."

I wandered over to the results tent after stretching. And what did my eyes fall upon?

I had, for only the third time in my LIFE, taken an age group award. The shits about the situation, though, is that had I been in normal shape and not afraid to REALLY burn through? I would have taken first. My 3-year-old 5K PR is 27:01, and that was before half marathons, and consistent mileage. Someday I hope to see 25x, but we'll see.

I cried again. I couldn't BELIEVE it. And there were a lot of people in the age group (the other two times I got awards I was the only person in the group or one of three or whatnot). They just were slower than normal, but I'd take it.

I WAS GOING TO GET AN AWARD YOU GUYS.

Sort of.

We had to wait for like an hour (although their "breakfast cafe" had LOOOOTS of fruit and cookies and I enjoyed that, thank you), BUT I WAS GOING TO GET AN AWARD.

It was a magnet.

STILL. I sort of didn't care. Because, she called my name (she butchered it, entering letters that are not even in the name to begin with), then said "and, aww, she's running for two."

YES. YES I AM. AND I BEAT AT LEAST 20 OF YOU.

That is not a nice thing to say, but I wanted my moment, damnit, because I was cranky about ONLY running a 5K, and this was going to make it better. And it did. I felt AMAZING all day.

After the race, I took a Bump selfie:

Yeah. A little bumpy. But I mostly just look chubby, not pregnant yet.

I then took a glorious bath, and we went to The White Oak Tavern, again, on a recommendation. When we got there, it was empty, and the menu was meh. Nothing sounded great and there were only like 7 things to choose from, but they are all farm-to-table, make their on everything, including ketchup, etc. We both ended up getting a burger, and it was REALLY good, so we were pleased.

Our waitress was...chatty? Extremely so? Like. She asked where we were from or something, and it came out about the race, and then I was pregnant, and from that point on, she wanted to know what the baby was, and how far along I was, and EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERYTHING, like standing there talking for 10 minutes and later, her husband brought her baby in and she BROUGHT THE BABY TO THE TABLE WHILE I WAS EATING FRENCH FRIES TO SHOW ME WHAT A BABY LOOKS LIKE.

I mean. He was cute. I just. Don't know what to do with other people's kids. Hopefully I'll know what to do with mine, but it's unlikely.

So, next race scheduled is Geist Indy Half. I will almost CERTAINLY drop to the 5K unless this chiro appointment is amazing and a miracle. I'll make that call early next week. But in either case, I hopefully will be back to report that, and two weeks after THAT is the SF Diva half (or, more likely) 5K).

Bye!

Haha...you're amazing.  Great job.  Entertaining as always.

Another great RR, written by the cats.  I was about 5 minutes into it, and only up to the description of crab dip.  I paused and got a snack.  For real.

Congrats on the AG win.  Does Baby Smudge has his/her own medal hanger yet?  Two races already! (A coworker called her baby Smudge, because that's what the first ultrasound looked like.)

Hope you get the pain thing figured out.

Love your RRs.

And you don't look pregnant.  I might look pregnant but let's not talk about that.

Great job!  I've been watching your progress in FB.

The one girl gave me the attention I crave when she said "you're PREGNANT? WHERE?" I assume she meant I did not look pregnant, so I didn't tell her "in my uterus. My husband's penis put it there."

I have literally LOLed at this about 3 times now.  Well played.

Great report, and congrats on the AG fridge bling!

Thanks so much for another highly entertaining RR.  I laughed out loud more than once.

And, fantastic job on the 5K and AG award.   Love the shirt and love that floating race photo.   Someday junior is going to appreciate seeing that.

Congrats!