Skirt Runner
So this summer I ended up getting a running partner. It has been really nice. I was going through a big running slump and was having a hard time motivating myself so it was good for me to have some accountability, and it also made my runs really enjoyable. We chat the whole time, and usually hang out after our runs, get dinner and such.
However, she is just starting out and runs slower than I do. My easy pace in the summer when I am by myself seems to be between 12:00 and 13:00 minute miles. Her pace seems to be between 14:30 and 15:30. While I enjoy our runs together I am wondering if consistently slower than my own easy pace (which isn't exactly breaking any records as it is) is really detrimental to my own training? I figured it was fine as long as I got some faster (faster for me at least) stuff in on my own time, but she seems to want to do EVERY run with me these days. She gets upset if I run without her, or decide to do a run at a time she can't. I find myself secretly sneaking runs and not telling her sometimes and feeling guilty about it, like I am cheating on someone. Haha....it sounds funny to say but it seems like that sometimes. She just seems so sad if she finds out I ran without her. I don't know how to tell her that I want to run faster than her sometimes. And I also, sometimes I just like to be by myself.....just me, my thoughts, the road, and a killer iPod playlist, like 99% of my runs for the past 2 years have been. But I don't want to hurt her feelings.
Should I just get over it and run with her all the time? It isn't like I am an Olympic athlete haha..... is it selfish and snotty of me to want to run alone so I can run faster? When we are talking this slow is there really a difference between 12:30 and 15:00 minute miles?
PRs: 5K- 28:16 (5/5/13) 10K- 1:00:13 (10/27/13) 4M- 41:43 (9/7/13) 15K- 1:34:25 (8/17/13) 10M- 1:56:30 (4/6/14) HM- 2:20:16 (4/13/14) Full- 5:55:33 (11/1/15)
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I run with my husband twice a week at paces ranging from 13mm to 15mm. Has not hurt my training one bit; in fact, I think it helps with my endurance. Having said that, I wouldn't run with him every day and will still do my own thing.
Maybe tell her it's fine to come with you but that you have X pace to hit and for that particular day, you cannot deviate from your training. She will either stay at your pace or understand.
Damaris
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If you keep some days with her during training, make sure to do your own LR and speedwork (not with her). The easy/recovery runs should be OK to do with her without major issue, as you are either recovering or need to rest a bit. In fact, it might help you to keep those runs with her for that reason.
Could you set up a schedule to run with her 2-3 times a week, then do a few runs on your own? Maybe explain that while running with her is fun, you are finding you miss your alone, decompression runs that help you refocus mentally. Is she comfortable running by herself? If not, maybe you can help her connect with another friend or a group that she could join up with on the days you aren't able to run with her.
20,000 miles behind me, the world still to see.
delicate flower
I think you need to explain to her that you really enjoy your runs together but that you also have to do some runs by yourself to run at your pace. I run with DW on the weekends and schedule those runs into my plan. I treat them as shakeout or recovery runs. Her runs average about 2:00 a mile slower than me and are perfect for my recovery efforts. But she also understands that I need to do the bulk of my training at my own paces.
<3
I think there is a range at which the benefit is substantially the same - at least aerobically. As long as you are getting your heart in that 60-70% of max range (around 120-140 for most people), there won't be a whole lot of difference an aerobic development even though your pace at 70% might be 60-90 seconds per mile faster than your pace at 60%. However, if you let your pace drop below an effort that gets your heart above 60%, you likely are having a negative impact on your aerobic development. Aerobic development is only one part of the equation though.
A second part of the equation is muscular development and the reality is that if you are running slower, you are not developing your muscles as effectively as you could. Again, it's a matter of degree. My normal easy pace on rested legs is around 7:40 but I doubt there is any real difference in muscular development between 7:40 and 8:00. I think there would be if I ran at 8:30 though even if an 8:30 pace would keep me above 60% of MHR. So, while there might not be a difference aerobically, there would be a difference in muscular development.
Ryan Hall once described easy runs as "easy but not too easy." There is a reason McMillan distinguishes "easy runs" from "recovery jogs" and I think a lot of folks make the mistake of running a lot of their easy runs as recovery jogs. Does that make a difference? If you do it a couple of times a week, probably not. I can even make an argument that doing a couple of recovery jogs each week is beneficial - especially if they allow you to do your hard workouts harder. But, if every easy run is a recovery jog, then I think you can negatively impact your training.
Short term goal: 17:59 5K
Mid term goal: 2:54:59 marathon
Long term goal: To say I've been a runner half my life. (I started running at age 45).
KillJoyFuckStick
Sounds like you need new friends. This women sounds too needy.
You people have issues
This women sounds too needy.
+ 1
Finding time to run is hard enough, who needs the headache of trying to sneek and do it.
Based on what you have written there is no good way to tell her so I would simply start running with her at my pace and make her hate running like we all do when we run too fast!
After about a week or so of searing lungs you will get a long text or email from her basically saying it just ain't working out. lol
She gets upset if I run without her, or decide to do a run at a time she can't. I find myself secretly sneaking runs and not telling her sometimes and feeling guilty about it, like I am cheating on someone. Haha....it sounds funny to say but it seems like that sometimes. She just seems so sad if she finds out I ran without her. I don't know how to tell her that I want to run faster than her sometimes. And I also, sometimes I just like to be by myself.....just me, my thoughts, the road, and a killer iPod playlist, like 99% of my runs for the past 2 years have been. But I don't want to hurt her feelings.
Yeah this sounds pretty pathetic. Yikes.
I don't think there's anything wrong with just telling her that you have faster runs Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday but would be happy to run with her the other days. If she can't handle that, I would find a less needy friend. Sounds like she is being the selfish one trying to make you feel guilty for not running with her every day.
Since it sounds like you want to preserve the friendship, maybe you can start a formal training plan to train for a specific race? And then help her find a 5k a week or two before that she can set up a training plan for, and that you could promise to run with her? My thought is that making a long term goal with her will provide the reassurance you aren't going to ditch her, while also showing that there are some days your training plans line up, and some they don't. Also, I would view this as a temporary problem. Since she's new, she'll probably improve quickly and you'll be better matched a year down the road. Good luck!
Have you tried giving her a roundhouse kick?
I think that the #1 thing that most of us can do to help our training is to get our miles in consistently. All of the speedwork, long runs, and whatever else is really only icing on the cake- consistent mileage is the big one, and seems so simple that sometimes it's easy to overlook.
That said, like everyone else, I have major concerns about anybody who is that controlling that they have issues with you running by yourself. I would set some boundaries right away- you need to take care of YOU, you are not responsible for her health and fitness plan, she is.
There are people in my running club who like to run only (or at least primarily) with other people. But they don't glom on to a single other person and insist that they run all of their runs together. Instead, they talk to the group, and out of a group of people, usually find somebody who is available to run. To me, that's a much healthier way to do it. And if your friend can't understand that. then it might not be a friendship that you want to last anyway.
The only slow people I run with are hot.
5K Specialist
I was the only guy on our XC team to run with the girls. I could have trained faster, but those XC girls were hot. I always had a thing for fit, athletic women.
Personal Bests:
800M - 2:38 (5/28/13) | 1 Mile -5:54 (5/28/13) | 3K - 11:55 (12/29/12) | 2M - 13:00 (12/1/12) | 5K - 20:00 (4/12/13) | 13.1M - 1:37:24 (2/3/13)
race obsessed
kristen,
imo, always running with a slower partner will hurt your speed. As you will never actually be able to push yourself.
However, mostly running with a slow partner will actually likely help you. With the exceptions being LRs and speedwork. Too slow and you cant get the distance done in an appropriate time frame in your LR and no speedwork will definitely hurt your training. (in the case that you are intending to get faster)