I got a laugh out of reading the FAQ's page on their website. Here they are: FAQ Frequently Asked Questions Also... Occasionally Asked Questions Questions People Asked Because They Couldn't Find the Info Somewhere Else and also a few Smart Aleck Comments YES, you can register at the expo unless we reach the cutoff first!! EXCEPT FOR RELAY TEAMS. ONLY ONLINE BEFORE OCTOBER 10 SO WE CAN PLAN FOR BUSSES. NO EXCEPTIONS, EVEN IF YOU ARE EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD LOOKING! 2000 Full Marathon 1100 Half-marathon 100 Teams Suppose that I've carefully read all of these questions and answers and I STILL can't figure out what the heck is going on. How do I contact the race director? Well, you can e-mail the race director, Don, at cooladventures@aol.com and ask your question. Keep in mind that there is such a thing as a stupid question (see below for some examples) but no one will hold that against you. Can I use my iPod? USATF has a new rule which prohibits headphones during races that they sanction. They sanction this one--that's how we get our liability insurance. So, the official answer to this question is "NO." Please don't ask any followup questions to this. Awards? Three deep overall and masters. Three deep in age groups. The only exception being that we're ordering awards on the 11th of October (after the last rate increase). If there's only one person in an age group at that time, we're only going one deep in that age group. (example, women's 65-69 only has one by that time, we're only going one deep.) So, if you're planning to win something, better sign up soon. Age group awards are based on CHIP TIME!!! Can I get a refund or sell my entry to someone else? No. It's part of the deal when you get involved in a marathon. Registrations are not refundable and not transferrable. If you get injured or something and want to defer to next year, you need to do it before race day and it's $20. Click here and scroll to the bottom of the page. Do you have an official training program? Not really, HOWEVER, a couple of our sponsors/affiliates do. Try rungazelle.com or runningcircles.com Good morning. A friend and I are looking for a marathon to participate in that we are able to walk. Does the Grand Rapids Marathon allow for walkers or only require runners? This would be our first marathon. We're avid walkers.....not runners. We're having a 7:00 start for walkers (and velocity-challenged runners:-)). No time limit on either race. This should be a great choice for a first marathon. Hope to see you there. Showers? YES! At the YMCA. FREE. Is this a certified course? YES! And YES, THAT MEANS YOU CAN QUALIFY FOR BOSTON HERE! USATF Sanctioned? YES! Sanction #190649 Cutoff Times? Do you have cutoff times for either race? YES! We'd really like it if you finish on some day ending in a "Y" Stay perpendicular and cross the FINISH LINE. We'll save you a beer. Is whining allowed on the course? NO! You signed up for this on purpose. Deal with it. I don't care if you were drunk when your friend talked you into it. Finisher Medals, will there be any? Yes, and they're really cool too. Half marathon medals as well. Even something nice for the relay teams. What sport drink are you serving? Gatorade this year. In a variety of flavors & colors to drink. Water, mostly colorless. GU at mile 8, 13 & 18.5 What's the course like? It's long. 26.2 miles. Mostly flat. Actually, there are a few hills between 3 and 6 miles, but none of them are liable to kick your butt. Chip timed? Yup. Certified distance too so you can qualify for Boston. What is the distance from the downtown area, (read hotels) to the start/finish? Hotels from 3 blocks to 10 miles. Check out our travel/hotel page for more info. Why do you use a Canadian maple leaf in your logo? Have you tried to import vegetation from another country lately. For crying out loud, border patrol people would be all over us. Please rest assured, it's an AMERICAN maple leaf, inspired by the billions and billions of maple trees we have RIGHT HERE IN MICHIGAN. The Canadian maple leaf doesn't have a guy in the middle of it either--check out their flag, or their hockey team, and see. If a marathon runner falls in a forest and there's no one around to hear it, will he or she make a sound? I'm sure there would be a sound, but this is a family website, so I can't put a real detailed description of it here. We have medical people on the course, so keep yelling for help and/or swearing, just in case. If a marathon runner falls in the river though, remember to swim upstream, because that will take you in the direction of the finish line. A few salmon may still be migrating at that time, so you'll have some company. How many marathon runners does it take to change a light bulb? Marathon runners aren't afraid of the dark. I was wondering about aid stations (GU, water, sports drink) as well as first aid stations (that include Vaseline) in terms of their placement along the course. Thanks! We'll have aid stations about every 1.5 miles along the course. GU Energy Gel at three places on the Marathon course. And, of course, what kind of a marathon would it be without some petroleum jelly along the way? PORTAJOHNS at every aid stations. We'll make sure you're well hydrated and well lubed! ALSO Metro Health has each aid station staffed with qualified medical personnel. You know REAL DOCTORS AND NURSES. You mean there really are stupid questions? Yes. Does the water go all the way around that island? Why were so many Civil War battles fought in National Parks? What's the difference between an orange? (One's a fruit and the other's a color.) Do these pants make my butt look fat? (Just pretend you didn't hear and change the subject quickly.) When you walk down the street, do you sing "Do wa diddy diddy dum diddy do"? (This is pretty silly) Hey Don, can I buy you a beer? (DUH!) Oh yeah--my friend and fellow race director Dave Craker contributed this one from one of his emails: "I just found out that the half-marathon is over 13 miles long. How long is the four-miler?" I'm 15 and despite getting told it "wouldn't be too smart", I am determined to try to run a marathon this fall. The Grand Rapids Marathon is the only one I've found that's not too far away from Detroit and is also after this fall's cross country season. My mom insisted that I have to find out if there is an age limit in this marathon before she'll let me sign up. I am going to prepare mileage-wise, and etc., so am I allowed to run in the Grand Rapids Marathon? Thanks. "Being too smart" has never been part of the criteria to be a marathon runner. As long as your mom is cool with it, I have no problem. Make sure you're well prepared though--youth and enthusiasm are wonderful, but seek the counsel of more experienced runners and be smart about it. I look forward to seeing you in the fall.

These are pretty much the same questions on the Grand Rapids Marathon site! Uhh same race director?

Huh, looks like Don Kern does Bayshore. I did not know that. He's a good RD, but did's aunt and uncle REALLY don't like him for some reason. Not quite sure what the backstory is, but it seems to be some old bad blood between Don and other peeps in the GR area running community.