RunningAHEAD - Topic: Dirty Joke Thread

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rectumdamnnearkilledem

posted: 7/8/2007 at 7:15 PM

'cause we need one... Wink

Getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to

remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air.

~ Sarah Kay

PWL

Has been

posted: 7/9/2007 at 8:36 PM
modified: 7/9/2007 at 8:38 PM

I agree we need one...how dirty are we going to make this? Offensive? My college roommate had a real penchant for Dead Baby Jokes.

"Years ago my mother used to say to me, she'd say, 'In this world, Elwood, you must be' - she always called me Elwood - 'In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant.' Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant."

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rectumdamnnearkilledem

posted: 7/9/2007 at 9:06 PM

Dead baby ones are pretty gross, but I don't have any issue with them. k

Getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to

remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air.

~ Sarah Kay

Daddyo

Go Pre!

posted: 7/10/2007 at 9:54 AM

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!" His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, 'How about a blowjob?' ....And she's always sound asleep."

https://twitter.com/BeachesRunner

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rectumdamnnearkilledem

posted: 7/10/2007 at 12:06 PM

Dave, that is SO awesome!!! I think it's true, too! Big grin

k

Getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to

remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air.

~ Sarah Kay

jEfFgObLuE

I've got a fever...

posted: 7/10/2007 at 2:56 PM

Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous.... . A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies: 1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before! 2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?" 3. "Can you hear me NOW?" 4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" 5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married." 6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?" 7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..." 8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!" 9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit! 10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity." 11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?" 12. "God, now I know why I am not gay." And the best one of all.. 13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?"

On your deathbed, you won't wish that you'd spent more time at the office. But you will wish that you'd spent more time running. Because if you had, you wouldn't be on your deathbed.

PWL

Has been

posted: 7/10/2007 at 10:09 PM

Mr. Smith owned a small business. He had two employees, Sarah and Jack. They were both extremely good employees - always willing to work overtime and chip in where needed. Mr. Smith was looking over his books one day and decided that he wasn't making enough money to warrant two employees and he would have to lay one off. But both Sarah and Jack were such good workers he was having trouble finding a fair way to do it. He decided that he would watch them work and the first one to take a break would be the one he would lay off. So, he sat in his office and watched them work. Suddenly, Sarah gets a terrible headache and needs to take an aspirin. She gets the aspirin out of her purse and goes to the water cooler to get something to wash it down with. Mr. Smith follows her to the water cooler, taps her on the shoulder and says, "Sarah, I'm going to have to lay you or Jack off." And Sarah says, "Can you jack off? I have a headache!"

"Years ago my mother used to say to me, she'd say, 'In this world, Elwood, you must be' - she always called me Elwood - 'In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant.' Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant."

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rectumdamnnearkilledem

posted: 7/10/2007 at 10:10 PM

Quote from PWL on 7/10/2007 at 10:09 PM:

And Sarah says, "Can you jack off? I have a headache!"

Haahahahahahaha!!! Big grin

k

Getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to

remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air.

~ Sarah Kay

PWL

Has been

posted: 7/10/2007 at 10:16 PM
modified: 7/10/2007 at 10:17 PM

Quote from zoom-zoom on 7/10/2007 at 10:10 PM:

Haahahahahahaha!!! k

Do you just sit on your computer and wait for someone to post Kirsten? That was almost instantaneous! Big grin

MODIFIED TO SAY: I guess I am just as bad. I responded to your response almost as quickly...

"Years ago my mother used to say to me, she'd say, 'In this world, Elwood, you must be' - she always called me Elwood - 'In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant.' Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant."

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rectumdamnnearkilledem

posted: 7/10/2007 at 10:18 PM

Sometimes I happen upon them just after they're posted, other times I get bored and just keep clicking until something new shoes up. Smile

k

Getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to

remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air.

~ Sarah Kay

PWL

Has been

posted: 7/10/2007 at 10:19 PM

It's amazing how quick that happens sometimes! ...like this evening Wink

"Years ago my mother used to say to me, she'd say, 'In this world, Elwood, you must be' - she always called me Elwood - 'In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant.' Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant."

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rectumdamnnearkilledem

posted: 7/10/2007 at 10:31 PM

Ha...are we both that bored? Big grin

k

Getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to

remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air.

~ Sarah Kay

Daddyo

Go Pre!

posted: 7/10/2007 at 11:34 PM

Quote from zoom-zoom on 7/10/2007 at 10:18 PM:

Sometimes I happen upon them just after they're posted, other times I get bored and just keep clicking until something new shoes up.

Shoes up? Shoes??? Lady you are a shoe whore...you got shoes on the brain 24/7! ..and by the way, I have already coined zoom_2 as "the queen of forst to reply"! Smile

https://twitter.com/BeachesRunner

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rectumdamnnearkilledem

posted: 7/11/2007 at 7:35 AM

Quote from Daddyo on 7/10/2007 at 11:34 PM:

Shoes up? Shoes??? Lady you are a shoe whore...you got shoes on the brain 24/7! ..and by the way, I have already coined zoom_2 as "the queen of forst to reply"!

Speaking of typos... Big grin

k

Getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to

remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air.

~ Sarah Kay

Daddyo

Go Pre!

posted: 7/11/2007 at 3:47 PM

nice

https://twitter.com/BeachesRunner

Drinkers with a Running Problem

Dirty Joke Thread (Read 437 times)