RunningAHEAD - Topic: Beer Warnings

Mississippi

posted: 8/24/2007 at 12:13 PM

FDA Beer Warnings 1. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering, when you are not. 2. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole. 3. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN. 4. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish. 5. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4am. 6. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants. 7. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex. 8. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers. 9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember). 10. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead. 11. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named BO. 12. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible. 13. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. 14. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to disappear. 15. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.

Michelle

PWL

Has been

posted: 8/28/2007 at 9:10 PM
modified: 8/28/2007 at 9:12 PM

Since noone else has, I will respond and note that I have felt all of those consequences at one time or another. Undecided

Modified to add: I wish to strike the word "all" from the record, due to the fact that I have not, as yet, knocked anyone up (see #15) and because I really do have mystical Kung Fu powers.

"Years ago my mother used to say to me, she'd say, 'In this world, Elwood, you must be' - she always called me Elwood - 'In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant.' Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant."

zoom-zoom

rectumdamnnearkilledem

posted: 8/28/2007 at 9:49 PM

Quote from PWL on 8/28/2007 at 9:10 PM:

Modified to add: I wish to strike the word "all" from the record, due to the fact that I have not, as yet, knocked anyone up (see #15)

That you know of... Wink

k

Getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to

remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air.

~ Sarah Kay

jeffreyvollum

posted: 9/1/2007 at 3:17 PM

9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember). This has led to the term "Coyote Ugly" (you chew off your arm so you don't wake the "thing" up in the morning), as well as the infamous "Double Coyote Ugly" (that's when you chew the OTHER arm off, too, because you know the "thing" will be looking for a one-armed person! Tongue

"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?" - Steven Wright

Drinkers with a Running Problem

Beer Warnings (Read 205 times)