I withdrew from the race due to lingering problems from a monkey attack. Or, the more likely alternate scenario, I withdrew and sold all your information to your local healthcare providers. Don't look at me if you get calls from your local sports medicine doctors. The psychiatrists paid the most. Especially in Nashville. Apparently they're doing a study on a local doctor who likes to punish unsuspecting runners.
I don't half-ass anything
"I have several close friends who have run marathons, a word that is actually derived from two Swahili words: mara, which means 'to die a horrible death' and thon, which means 'for a stupid T-shirt.' Look it up." - Celia Rivenbark, You Can't Drink All Day if You Don't Start in the Morning
When I saw you on a bike on the Greenway the other day I had a bad feeling you were "opting out." I assume the new business had something to do with it too.
It's a stupid race anyway.
The tangents are moot.
One would think it was mostly the business, but I would have stayed in if it weren't for the foot problems. But it was partly because I can't run a business if I can't walk. Stupid race anyway. But I love it! Next year... on a brighter note, I do still plan on beer and pizza with everyone afterwards.
And in the end...
Dammit! If Slice is out, so am I!!!
Oh, wait. I'm not actually in it.
Dallas, save me a seat at the after party... even if I'm not there.
Fuck it. I'm gonna PR this fall. Let's do this.
I have seats saved for you pre-race, post-race and post-post race.
Dallas, you are my hero.
That's only if you promise not to show.
I'm no hero. I'm just an average guy doing extraordinary things.
Fine. I'll not show then. I hate standing.
Only thing scarier than a monkey is a biper.