Six weeks. And one day. That is, forty three days.

Your doom is coming. This morning, the park is misty. The rains are falling. The cold is coming. The darkened days, the long night, the piercing winds. Dank monsters are awakening in the hills, stretching their wings, walking. Flying. Ever forward.

You try to train. You practice and parry and shuffle around your training grounds. You harden yourself on the grim battlefields that ravage the greenways and parks. You group and regroup, build your personal armies. That cute little half marathon you just ran, it gives but false hope. You are doomed. The monkeys are rising and your skills and your weapons are useless. The hills will loom large and the monkeys will descend.

Choose your army, your allegiance, your sigil. Run together and hope for the best. Pray your strategy protects you. I fear it will not.

Monkey is coming.

And this -

- We do still have charity registration spots available.

- We are always looking for volunteers on race morning. So if you know of anybody smart enough not to run who wants to come out and spend a sweltering or freezing morning in the park helping out, please let us know. Volunteers are awesome!

- Your registration info is posted on the Monkey's website AND here: http://www.runningahead.com/events/Monkey/participants. Please take a look to make sure it is correct.

- If you happen to find goodness, light and/or wisdom while out jogging around, pretending to train for this thing, and realize you won't be able to make it to Monkey, please let me know so I can offer your spot to one of the foolish fools on our foolish wait list.

- As always, we will not have automatic text messaging of your splits from this race, to be sent to friends and family everywhere. We will not have finish line videos streaming over the web, indexed with your bib number. We will not have cheer squads along the way, with a competition for best spirit and costume. We will not have pace groups.

- Packet pickup will likely be at the Gordon JCC on November 22, 2014 between 2pm and 4pm, if I get off my lazy rear end and get that organized. The JCC is located at 801 Percy Warner Blvd, Nashville, TN 37148. This is less than 2 miles from the race start/finish area. Here is a map to the GJCC: http://tinyurl.com/MonkeyPacketPickup . Packet pickup will also be available race morning adjacent to the starting line.

- For those of you who want a post-race shower but are checking out of your hotel room, you can return to the JCC located at 801 Percy Warner Blvd, Nashville, TN 37148. They will need you to show your bib and bring your own towel and soap. They may also charge you the $5 guest fee.

- We ask all our volunteers and any runners who are able to bring some food and/or drink to share with the rest of the monkeys post race. Our participants' home-made smorgasbord impresses every year. I will be making home-made monkey pumpkin pies. Lots of them. What will you bring?

- I have said this many times, and I reiterate. Running is stupid. You cannot train for Monkey. You may as well give up now.

- We plan to offer Yazoo Beer after the race to those who are of the correct drinking age. Yazoo is good brew, local and tasty. If you want to enjoy some, please bring your ID with you to the race. You don't have to run with it, but once the beer is available after noon, you will need your ID. If you want to tweet your grand appreciation for this, use these tags: @YazooBrew and @yazoobrewmaster

- We plan to have swag for sale at packet pickup and then post-race, with all proceeds going to support the Friends of Warner Parks, the charity that keeps Monkeyville spectacular. This year, we will have original and unique Hatch posters, singlets and prior years' shirts, all uniquely Monkeyfied. Posters and cups are $10, shirt prices will vary depending on which one you like. Cash appreciated. And cheap!

- The Twitter Monkey hashtag: #MonkeyMarathon. You can also Tweet @hhFlyingMonkey, if'n you want.

- The website lists information about where there is lodging near the race and restaurants where you can dine over the weekend. In addition, if you have further questions, feel free to holler or to put out a query on our message board: http://www.runningahead.com/groups/HHFMM/forum. If you post there, please don't mind the monkey business.

Anyhow.

A Dance with Monkeys
Trent

So will this yazoo beer be offered on course for us poor souls who expect to still be "out and about" past noon?

Could you put in a plea to the YazooBrewmeisters to throw in a keg of Hefeweizen?

 

Please and thank you.

"Dank monsters"

 

Lolz.

The MonkeyMeister is rather dramatic, isn't he.  Musta gotten konked in the head by a black walnut.