Masters Running

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Another evening without Donna (Read 220 times)

TomD


    It has been a tough day and evening. I have been all alone since leaving the Andrew Jackson Marathon. Way to much time to think. It is so very lonely without Donna. She was always there and ready to let me know of her love for me. Put her arm around me and tell me so many loving things in that sweet voice of hers. The evenings really are not getting better. Some are worst than others. Donna took care of so many things for us, especially anything social. I should be sleeping now like most everyone else that has a job to go to in the morning, but I cannot sleep, again. Maybe writing about it well help me get some sleep. I keep remembering how she would ask me "What did I do for God to want to take my life now." I just tried to be positive. Leting her know that she is not going to die anytime soon and God was not md at her. Then that Sunday night just before they put her on life support, she was so very brave. She looked at me, but did not cry or scream or anything like that. She was so very brave. She looked at me and I could see the fear in her eyes. She told me, "Tom, I love you." The other picture is three days later, when she was took off of life support. She looked so very peaceful. It was 7:00PM on April 1st. During those 5 hours and then 3.5 hours into the 2nd, it looked as if she would just pop up and say to me "April Fools." But was did not to be. She did pass on looking so peaceful and beautiful. At least in my eyes. I have been crying so much each night, that I cannot remember the last time that I did not cry in the evening. When I was down, Donna always knew what to do to make things so much better. Her voice sounded so sweet and young. She would say, "I wish I looked as young as my voice sounded." Of course to me I loved her just as she was. Once she was telling a friend of mine that she needed to lose 20 pounds. He just looked around her and said, "Where!" She always thought she was fat. She was perfect for me. For 3 years I had a very loving wife to hold me, give me a little kiss, a hug, and so many littles things in life. I miss them all so very much, because that was my Donna. Thank you for listening. I will try to get some sleep now. TomD


    Marathon Maniac #957

      Write as often as you need to, Tom. We're here to listen.

      Life is a headlong rush into the unknown. We can hunker down and hope nothing hits us or we can stand tall, lean into the wind and say, "Bring it on, darlin', and don't be stingy with the jalapenos."

        Keep writing, Tom. We're your friends and are here for you. TomS
          I wish there was something I could do or say to take away the pain you're feeling right now, Tom. Just know that everyone here supports you as you work through this difficult time in your life. Stay strong!
          RCG


          Rose Colored Glasses

            You are right to write, Tom. It must be so quiet in your house, so when you write, think of it as talking and when we read, we'll think of it as listening. I hope you find more peace and more sleep this evening.

            Worry no more

            Oh, worry no more

            There's an open door for you

            Worry no more

            Oh, worry no more

            There's an open door for you

              If writing is cathartic then please do. The loss of somebody so close is so tough. Also, perhaps there is somebody in your life you can talk to in person. It might help.

              Live like you are dying not like you are afraid to die.

              Drunken Irish Soda Bread and Irish Brown Bread this way -->  http://allrecipes.com/cook/4379041/

                ((Tom)) I hope you were able to get some sleep and dream sweet peaceful dreams.

                denise

                nowor


                  Tom, We care about you and want to hear your stories. Donna was certainly a beautiful person. Sleep on that thought.
                    Keep writing to us Tom. It's always good to hear from you, no matter what frame of mind. You have a great heart, which is part of why Donna loved you so. It's going to take a while to heal. A.
                    Masters 2000 miles
                    TammyinGP


                      ditto what everyone has said - keep writing it all down - the sadness, the anger, the confusion, the loneliness, and that will help you move onto a place of more peace and acceptance. You will get there.

                      Tammy