Things have been going well for a while now. The last couple of days I have been reading "Healing Grief". I was not able to sleep tonight, but I have been able to learn a lot about what I am going through. Some of which I did not think was normal, but my problem is not being able to ask for help. Maybe not because of showing weakness as the book suggests, but being someone who is used to doing whatever I need myself. Sure I was always able to ask for Donna's help and she never turned me down. It was all about getting it done. She was probably an exception, because I knew she would always do what is best for me for her love was unconditional.
The book states that one needs someone for support that will listen. For that person needs to talk about his lost. Talk about so many things of their love one. How seeing something today reminded me of Donna. This was very important.
Another thing I had such a great need to have someone hug me or even just touch me in a caring matter and let me know that things would be better. Also for them to state that. Where I am not I do not need that nearly as much now. I did get this however from the marathons I was at from my many friends both male and female.
From this website I got a lot of reassures and positive help in my time of need. I still have a lost of sleep as tonight and crying myself to sleep, but it is not very often. My first 6+ weeks were very much like that though. I owe all of you out there a huge Thank You, for all the support I got from you.
This weekend I will go see my friends in Nebraska. The last time I saw them was just before Christmas before Donna even dreamed of having cancer of any kind. Although it was only 6 months ago it seems like a lifetime ago to me. I am having that tissue problem again.
TomD
SteveP
King of PhotoShop
Carolyn
I hammered down the trail, passing rocks and trees like they were standing still.
Tom,
I know I have mentioned a couple times in the past that I felt a loss/grief support group would be helpful, but I also know that it's so very difficult for people to make that step. And I think moreso for men. I am glad that you found a book that is helpful to you and I'm glad you are getting back into some social settings and being surrounded by friends and getting that type of support that you crave right now. I ditto all the above, that runners are an independent group. I think that's part of what draws those independent types to running - it's solo yet social when we want it to be. It's on our terms. So making that step to reach out to others and let it be known that "hey, I need some nurturing right now, I need some hugs, I need someone to understand me" is a BIG step, sometimes a scary step.
I hope this weekend, running and being with friends, is a welcome release for you and a healing time as well.
Tammy
#artbydmcbride
Runners are great for giving and receiving hugs....as long as you aren't too picky about sweatiness.
Open arms at folks, even strangers and get the hugs you need.. ((((TomD))))
Runners run
Marathon Maniac #957
I'm so glad things are going a little better for you now. We're still here for you, whenever you want to talk about what you're going through. I hope you have a great time with your friends in Nebraska.
Life is a headlong rush into the unknown. We can hunker down and hope nothing hits us or we can stand tall, lean into the wind and say, "Bring it on, darlin', and don't be stingy with the jalapenos."