Normally I think of myself as a very positive and strong person, but with my loss it is very difficult for me to get over it. At my job I work alone much of the time, so others to do see my tears, which are not often anyway. My job keeps me busy. At home it seems there is some sort of noise each evening and I go see if maybe it is Donna coming home, but of course it is not. Some days are just lonely, but others I just can not stop crying. I just have lost the will to do much outside of work. This weekend I will go to the Lincoln Marathon see many friends, but afterwards I will be alone it this house again. My motion to do anything is not there. I know that I should just go out and try to meet someone. Maybe I would meet someone special even, but when it comes down to it the desire is not there. The hurt is very real for me right now. Sometimes I feel I am on my way to a new life, then a picture, a note, or a card she gave me. Donna and I would many times give each other cards for no other reason, but to tell each other our love for each other. So I have way more cards than I can count. I hear telling me all the time, "Tom, I Love you more than you Love me." or "I Love you munches and munches and munches." Then I see her just before they put on Life Support. I remember the fear in her eyes, but she took everything so very bravely. I remember her telling me, "I Love You" just like so many other times. We always felt that we would die together much older than now, so we would be in the spirit world. Neither of us could even image life without the other. But now I am experiencing it and I am lost. Life without Donna is not much of a life at all. Thank you for listening. TomD

{{{{{{{ Tom }}}}}}}} You will hurt, you will be lonely, you will cry, but you will get better. Donna's love is shining down on you as you run for her.

I haven't been in your shoes, Tom, but I think your feelings are very normal. Don't feel bad about them, they reflect what was very special. Cherish your memories and do your best to cope with what is going on now. It's good you're going to Lincoln and will see lots of friends. My brother, Dave (selb3), will be there, too. I think the two of you have met. Continued thoughts going your way. TomS

Thank you all for your input. I have been feeling that I should be going forward more quickly. Sometimes I feeling like I should go out and meet someone, but I do not feel right about doing it. Maybe next week will be better. TomD

Tom, I never lost a spouse but I lost a brother 4 years ago. He was a young man and his life was a struggle. His death untimely. You have to let the grieving process happen. Now instead of dwelling on his life's struggles I dwell on the happy and funny things about him. There will be a day when your life goes on and you will remember the wonderful things about her and wont dwell so much on your loss. Its a process. Let it happen. Laurie

I am sad to read about how you are feeling. The loss you have suffered was so very great so I think it is reasonable that you are feeling that way. You will know when you are ready to move on. Give it time. For now, just know that you have touched many and so many are pulling for you.

I was thinking it but didn't want to say it, but since Erika piped up I will echo what she said. I think it's WAY too early to even think about meeting someone new. You need to just yourself process through the grieving stages, at your own pace, before you can transition into a new phase of life, which may or may not include someone else. you can't expect to be a good companion for another woman, when you are still mourning the loss of Donna. Wouldn't be fair to yourself or to that potential companion. It may seem like it's been long, Tom, but it really hasn't. Don't try to rush the process. Just let what will be, be. {{Tom}}