Hi group.  Pardon my sharing here.  Not many people know of my medical issues mostly because over the years I think that I have been practicing the out of sight out of mind technique.  And, there is rarely a need to tell people my spinal cord is flattened.  Especially around people you’re racing bikes with.  

But, as a result of people not knowing and therefore thinking I perfectly healthy in all ways, when I’m dealing with related stuff it’s difficult to find anyone to talk to about it.  So I’m going to put this out here to those who might understand at least the fear of the ramifications, which is being told I need surgery immediately (again) and that running would be off the table and I would enter the world of full on visible disability.

I was advised in 2012 that I needed immediate neck fusion because my spinal cord is impinged/indented/flattened at C4-7.  The doc was kind of a jerk.  Ok not kinda, he was full on ahole.  It’s the nature of neurosurgeons I’m my experience over the years. But this guy.  I’d come in because of more low back stuff and came out with this unexpected cervical spine dx.  From last experience I decided that he was full of crap because I wasn’t experiencing consistent sustained neurological deficit.  I had a follow up MRI in 2016 and my then doc referred me to .... the same jerk.  I politely declined even though by then I was having more consistent but not sustained neurological deficit.

Now its its end of 2018 and I realize that over time I’ve lost quite a bit of fine motor skills in my hands. And the true realization came when I could not help my mother weed a garden this summer and when my team at work held a team builder that I couldn’t participate in. I can still run and ride my bike (with numbness that everyone talks about it seems so not unusual) but I can’t handwrite anymore more than 30 seconds or so without having to take a break and even as I type this on my phone, my right hand is tingly and numb.

So today I have an appointment with a well respected neurosurgeon.  I’m afraid.  I suppose it’s not really about being told I can’t run per se. Running for me, and this streak, has been about proving to myself that I am not disabled now and don’t have to be in the future.  I ran inconsistently before the streak and when I did that I had recurrent bouts with back issues that would make me fear whether it was the beginning of the prognosis from the doc in 2002, that I would be in a wheel chair by 50. Since the streak I haven’t had acute issues (yay) but now I realize I have slowly deteriorated over time.  I guess I can’t outrun nerve damage.

So we’ll see.  I can envision the doc ordering an urgent MRI, then whisking me to surgery and then later, should i survive the anesthesia given my allergies to most drugs from all the conservative “treatments”, trying to run around the hospital with an IV bag.

Any my words of encouragement, slap in the face, tough love etc  you feel like giving is appreciated.

Mostly though, thanks for the space to share.

Teresa

HI Teresa,

Sorry to hear you're going through all of this.

Overall health comes first in my books, but I also follow a philosophy of not really worrying about something until there is something to worry about.  See the doctor, find out what is really going on, and then try to take it one day at a time after that.

Best of luck and we'll send some healing vibes and prayers your way.

Jeff

Thanks, everyone for your support.

Surgeon reconfirmed need for surgery. Told me I’d be off running for up to 3 months.  My condition has definitely gotten worse and I am now presenting with evidence of cord damage. Getting an EMG next week to determine extent of damage. MRI ordered as well.

The very next day what had been feeling like an occasional burning hot poker in my stomach got worse and started impeding my ability to run (I mean, really, of all things?!😂)  so I spent the morning in urgent care and radiology yesterday.  They couldn’t find anything life threatening so I bought a back compression belt thingy and took some Advil and was able to run on the treadmill last night. They kept asking me if I’d been on an accident. I don’t remember being punched in the gut, except metaphorically by a new job and this other stuff.  Thankfully I already had my annual physical scheduled for this coming Tuesday so I plan on continuing the Advil and compression until then.

Life goes on today.  My plan continues that I will run until I can’t. Today is not that day.  Running on the TM this morning then we are getting one last weekend out of our boat.

Have a good weekend!

Wishing you well and keeping you in my thoughts, Teresa. Running will always be there for you when you're ready.

Sad to hear this.  Hope everything goes well and wishing you a speedy recovery.