Notes
Don't really want to post this on social media and since only seven or eight people actually read this, I'll post it here.
My grandfather died a few hours ago. It was not COVID-related, it was just his time to go. He's had declining health for the last decade. I got to talk to him Monday through Facetime to say goodbye and my mom and my aunts had been taking care of him in quarantine for the last week. My grandfather really had nothing to do with my running. It's funny because both of my grandfathers were equally dismayed when I stopped playing baseball and took up running instead. This one, Grandpa Donald, kept telling me to not throw junk because I'd end up like all these pitchers who don't make it. By freshman year, my elbow was pretty much blown out and my ten years in baseball was over. A year later I was on the cross-country team and the rest is history.
Last week, my sister and my cousin both had their first child within 24 hours of each other. I remember the summer after my sophomore year I stayed at my grandfather's house for a week with my cousin. She is six months older than me exactly so we've always been pretty close. That week meant a lot to me because even though we lived on opposite sides of the country (she was in Wyoming and then Seattle), we were both experiencing adolescence together and she gave me a lot of insight and advice. I also remember that I would go running in my grandpa's neighborhood. These were the times when 20 minutes of running seemed insufferable. Especially in the deadass heat of Texas where my grandfather lived. I remember him telling me to not run for too long in my short shorts in the evening because all of his neighbors had guns (problematic times).
He was a problematic man - a complicated man for sure. He is responsible for two major falling outs in the family. There was a point in high school (before I had gone to see him) that I never thought I would see him again because he was not talking to the family. Politics were at the center of this falling out -- and money. Slowly, gradually things healed within the family, but then Trump got elected and it happened again. As a Fox News flunkie, he was out again because he could not stand my aunt's liberal agenda. This is part of the reason it is intolerable that politics has now flooded every corner of our lives now, even practice. There is no escape and there is no positive in it - at least at the moment.
My mom made it her mission in the last couple years to not allow that second falling out to be our final memories of our grandfather. She put herself in the crosshairs of the whole family and it was really more for her own sake than for anyone else, but I'll always appreciate her doing that. Because of that we got to hang out with him at my sister's wedding and I got to pour alcohol all over him to celebrate.
That was our relationship though. We would always bust each other's chops. I don't do that so much to other people because I think I saved that portion of myself for him. He had that strong, snarky, Irish quick wit. Whether it was sneaking up on him and scaring him into a heart arrhythmia at Disneyworld or singing 'You Make me Feel So Young' to him at karaoke, he would have always something for me, most notably his geriatric jabs to my bicep or a pinch on the ass.
At the end of things here, in a roundabout way, he has ended up taking care of the family. His daughters were all there at his side when he passed and I have heard from more family members in the last two weeks than I have in the last two decades. There will always be some deep emotional scars that exist within the family, but I do not believe that it is not fair to say that there is so much good that has come out of his life as well. Most notably, the strength of my mom, who made it possible for me to be where I am without being too damaged.
While he was not a fan of running, he was always in my corner and one of my biggest supporters and I think that is one of the reasons why I had a hell of a good run this morning. RIP DOB. Love and appreciate you.