Notes
The plan was to run an 800 and I just felt so amped up on the warmup and strides. So much so that my heart rate wasn’t coming down from 150. I couldn’t tell if this was good or bad because I wanted to feel ‘caffeinated’ but did not know if this was too much. As soon as I started i knew the answer. Hard to log this but you gotta take the crookeds with the straights and I’ve had plenty of good lately. Hit 200 around 29, which should have given me confidence but instead broke me. Literally, I felt in pieces on the home stretch, thinking I was getting slower on each step and by 350 I was trying to talk myself into running 600. Hit 400, didn’t hear the split, but it was like 60.x. There was no reason for me to feel the way i was feeling mentally/emotionally but i couldn’t clear it. When I knew I wasn’t going to complete it, I could not convince myself to run another step and stepped off the track before hitting 500.
Total brain blast. I told Forrest that i was feeling embarrassment and shame running - I don’t know where that came from and I’m a bit upset with myself because that tells me Im taking myself too seriously and just gotta enjoy the running. It was difficult trying to run it solo, but again, I think if i had just had some perspective and let myself breathe, things would’ve been different.