Notes
I had a lot of different feelings going into this race today. Chapman called me in the morning and said that Mia Rampton was trying to get out of the 3k because she (and her coach) felt like there was "no competition". As offended as I was by that, it honestly was just what I needed to hear. People doubting me or telling me I can’t do something is what fuels my fire. I love proving people wrong and making them feel foolish for their doubt in me. I was happy Chapman stood up for me and told the UNI coach that I was planning on running with her, except for when he had said it changed to 10:15 pace. THAT was a little spicy. However, knowing she thought I wasn’t strong competition made me not care about pace and instead just care about the race. All day I was mentally preparing myself and hyping myself up. I talked to her a little bit before the race (P.S she was wearing that stupid purple headband like I knew she would), and although I was nervous, I was going into it confidently. The race started and I did exactly what Chapman and Spitz told me- I sat behind her the first 2k. The pace honestly felt pretty slow, I could feel myself wanting to move earlier but knew it would be better to wait. I planned to make a move in the last K because I knew my last lap foot speed would be no match for hers. Unfortunately, the lap counter got off. I knew something wasn’t right because Spitz was yelling one thing, and the lap counters were yelling another, but I couldn’t tell what was wrong. I even literally yelled with a few laps left “HOW MUCH LEFT?!” because I was so confused with what was happening. It was just so loud and chaotic in there that I couldn’t really understand what anyone was saying, and the bell didn’t even ring, and my mind was just all over the place so I lost focus. I ended up making a big move anyway (me thinking it was 800 left but really it was 600) so I could try and drop her, but she responded well and stuck on. We ended up running an extra lap because of the debacle.
I got through the finish and still didn’t really know what was going on. Spitz seemed mad and confused as to why I ran another lap (I don’t think he was aware about the lap counter situation at the time) and I was still in disbelief, thinking I got beat at the line and ran a 11:15 3k #rip. Once I figured out what had happened, there was a short moment of relief, as I realized my time was wrong. Then, that moment ended, and I was beyond pissed. I finally had a super solid kick and it didn’t even count. It wasn’t even the one lap that got messed up though; The whole last K was just a hot mess, which really stinks because it was the strongest I’ve ever felt that late in a race. I technically beat Mia (since I was ahead of her on the 15th lap) and PR’d, but I didn’t even care anymore. The win wasn’t real and my time could’ve been way faster. I hate to say it, but I much would’ve rather gotten smoked by Mia and ran a 10:20 something. I know it’s just “one race”, but every race for me matters since I am limited on how many I can run. I don’t get the same amount of chances that everyone else does to do something special, so every race I do get to run carries a lot of value and meaning. That was likely my only 3k of the season and it was blighted by something stupid. It’s not a wasted opportunity, but just an opportunity that didn’t fully get taken advantage of, which really bothers me. Chapman told me I should’ve been looking at the clock, but I was trying not to do that so I wouldn’t be focused on a pace that might scare me. I don’t know. I think I am mostly just mad at myself about the whole thing. I should've known better.
However, mistakes happen and that’s the way it is. This did not go how I wanted it to, but there are positive takeaways. This race gave me loads of confidence. I crossed the line and was not gassed at all; I’ve felt more tired after workouts. Running in the 10:30’s sounded crazy to me a few days ago but now I’m thinking I could drop to the 10:20’s easy money. Maybe I can’t run at too much of a faster pace, but I know I can hold that pace for much longer. If I can keep that pace during a 5k, I would break 18 no problem. I know Mia was the true winner of the race, but I still proved my point; She thought I was a total nobody who couldn’t hang and I gave her a run for her money, maybe even could’ve beaten her for realsies if I moved sooner. Running an extra lap is better than running a lap too short. I was given a plan and executed it perfectly; I sat behind her, made a move, and exuded confidence. The race was set up to be tactical (don’t focus on time, just beat Mia), and my time still wasn’t half bad despite the confusion. The fact that I am disappointed about a race in which I (sort of but not really) won, and PR’d in, goes to show how much more potential I have and that I am beginning to realize said potential. I gave myself the rest of the day to be pissed but tomorrow is another day, and I am walking away with an altered perspective- Chapman told me that I shouldn’t think that running a 10:15 3k is crazy. I still hold that running a 10:15 3k would be crazy; However, now I believe that I am capable of doing something crazy.