Notes
Some things
thoughts i have. Take them or leave them, its for future me
for some sense of what is happening-
joel and i want to go to the SDSU meet this saturday, which we could definitly be accepted to go to. coach has said no to this for 2 reasons. one: "we are still in a pandemic" the meet will be following state and ncaa protocols so i think that excusse is just dumb and coach being over catious and impossing with own abitrary rules. second: money. since i have gotten to mines it seems that our spending has only decreased. this by itself doesnt really bother me but i dont like to be lied to. joel and i would gladly pay our own way for a better chance to compete. i feel that more has been sacfrificed to protect against the bull shit covid than make this program better.
some other misconeccted thoughts
talking to coach is uncofortable. I have never had a step father however its like what i imagine a teenager talking to a bad stepfather would be like. He gives his reasons with no room for feed back. a more productive way to explain his descisions would be to at least have an illusion of compromise. i often do not understand any of his reasoning but I feel that pressing him for more would just lead to an even worse understanding.
we do not have any kind of team going on. the only time we are a team is when we ride the bus together. we dont workout together. we dont compete together, or even at the same meets. there is a few guys on the team who i have seen on a run in a few weeks. Im not saying they arent running i just havent interacted with them in a while. part of this plays into the money and covid thing. they both seem like a lazy excuse to not do anything. I would say that some of this is not coaches fault and it out of his hands, but some times it seems that he has pushed for this and that maybe he wants it this way.
practice times
some say in he nature of the workouts.
where we go for meets and when we race
practice location.
some amount of the risk in covid
who we practice with
accountability towards teamates and what is done outside practice time
i think that all of this should be in some way determined by the athletes. i mean the reason i opt for the team instead of flying solo isnt so someone else can control my workouts. i will only reach peak performance once in my life, this time is very important. the assembly of the team is the most important thing missing here and the team has no way of deciding anything. after all these things should be dtermined to best benifit the athletes WITHOUT COMPROMISE. not in anyway that best suites the coach or athletic department. i dont know what coach thinks is the objective of sports at this school. In my opion the purpose of the AD staff and coaches is to give hard working athletes a chance to continue their efforts in athletic while ( in our case) also pursuing a meaningfull degree. Something that is suposed to be more difficult to do without the ad staff. At this point seems that it is holding me back. aside for gaining access to more athletic events i dont really see the benifit of being here. the team should serve to improve its individual, but we do not have a team.
i dont know what should be done to fix this, its really not my job, im just supposed to run fast. but if its starting to hinder my ability to do that then...