Notes
Captain’s log (resumed): The run and my overall day went very well. I started to realize that maybe I shouldn’t instantly treat the girl I like the same as a goddess. Instead, I should treat her like a person. I gave her a bit of crap today for not having her iPad charged and it felt pretty good not acting like robot. For the longest time I thought I was acting like myself around her, but I wasn’t. Changing my tune for the day felt natural, and when I was myself I made her laugh. It’s the little moments like that between her and I the make me the happiest I can be during an average school day. I think if I’m going to push this along, I’m going to have to act more normal. For the past two years, I’ve felt looked over and completely invisible when I’ve been around her. That’s no way to feel. It also doesn’t help that even my own mom is urging me to move on and “play the field.” I can’t begin to tell you how frustrating that is because I know she’s looking out for me, but I want to do my own thing and be left alone while doing it. I’m just glad that I’m only a week and a half into this semester and I’m already feeling more comfortable and more noticeable when I’m around her. I have learned from her, and I think the most important is to be unique and not to disappear into a boring crowd. I’ve stuck around so long because I really do care about her, and I’m almost positive that recent motivations have kept me from giving up. It motivated me to know that the work I’ve been putting into running, music, and love life are starting to pay off. It’s feels great knowing that the believe I will achieve great things this season. This is the fastest I’ve felt in my life, and I as far as the rest of my life goes... I don’t plan on slowing down.