Forums >General Running>Running scared
2014 was a great year for my running...until it wasn't. I crossed all my goals off the list - culminating in a huge marathon PR.
But then I couldn't run. Not at all. Calf strain, nerve irritation, microtear, knee shut down. All of it painful - and none of it the good kind of pain.
This is my first injury in over 25 years....and I know that the majority of you reading this have endured injury. I also know that if you train hard you risk getting injured in exchange for pushing the envelope. I did that and I do not regret it.
That was October - the MRI is clean and PT has me on the road to recovery. I have finally been able to run/walk for about an hour. Great, right? Well yes and no.
The truth is every damn step I take, I am frightened. I am paranoid. I say over and over again "Is that it? Is it coming back? Is that the pain? Is that a different pain?"
But the worst thing is that I feel weak. Physically of course - yet I know that I will work to get back eventually.
But I feel mentally weak. Like I will always be this wimpy scared runner. And I hate weak.
Ready, go.
From the Internet.
I don't have any specific advice, but I can say that it gets better. It takes time, though. I think it was at least a year after my last really bad shin splint flareup that I finally would have runs (not all of them, but most of them) where I wasn't worried about injury.
Bacon Party!
Been there. Done that. Doing it again.
I can't compare to your 25-yr injury-free track record, but am familiar with that fear.
It gets better. It's also possible to adapt to running scared - to laugh when you wonder whether "it's the big one."
Liz
pace sera, sera
Interval Junkie --Nobby
I also know that if you train hard you risk getting injured in exchange for pushing the envelope. I did that and I do not regret it.
Exactly the same thing happened to me. Pelvic fracture. 9weeks off.
To give you an idea of how weak this left me: I was walk-jogging for 1mile x4/week and I was kinda beat after the mile. 6miles felt like a Herculean effort. And I had the same "oh, that pinched, maybe it's coming back" stuff going through my head.
It took about 3months before 6mi stopped being a real slog and just became a forgettable daily distance. 4.5mo later and I'm around 60mpw. Still slow, though.
You'll get there.
2021 Goals: 50mpw 'cause there's nothing else to do
Returning from an injury sucks. I hate not being able to run without worrying about every twinge and if the pain will come back. It takes time to be able to run confidently and feel strong again. But eventually you stop thinking about it as much and you start to trust that it can handle a little stress. And soon you're back to your old running self.
Super B****
Another pelvic fracture here (well, nine of them).
I have, knock on wood, been fracture-free for over two years.
I still live in terror of another one. But it's not quite as acute as it used to be, so... yes, it does get better with time.
chasing the impossible
because i never shut up ... i blog
I think this is pretty much why I run. Or at least one of the reasons.
Wait. Did I say that out loud?
Runners run
I have found changing my running routes helped with this, i used to get dropped off somewhere rural and run home, or do a big circuit but after my injury i preferred choosing lap routes so i knew wherever i was i could get to my car or be close to home if anything flared up. Although the down side of that is having to be mentally prepared to talk myself out of stopping when it gets hard. But that very rarely happened as i knew i had that escape option at my back, yanno?. And eventually it got easier and the trust in my body came back, and i could venture out further - which was good, because if i see one more loop of that 2.5k track i will lose my mind....
I do if for the bananas. They are really good bananas.
I had my first major activity injury in April (biking 0mph, not running).
Incredible knee pain. MCL strain.
When the strain healed, I found out there was also a torn meniscus, and I had surgery in September.
I began running about a month ago (1st real runs since April, I believe). Started at a mile and built it up. This past weekend, I did a 5.5 mile run with the family, and that was too much, and I knew it the next day.
Not near where I was or where I'd like to be, but the journey of life is long. I do what I can do, and there'll be plenty of time in the future for me to do the hard stuff. Until then, I complain about it as silently as possible. I understand your pain. .
And.... swimming and biking has enabled me to keep busy without running as I strengthen my knee.
Life Goals:
#1: Do what I can do
#2: Enjoy life
I have come back from injury 3 of the 4 years I have run and there is no escaping the absolute terror you feel with each step you take running those first couple of days, it's horrible!
You suddenly seem to feel things you never have before (real and imagined) and literally are ready to bag the run at any moment.
Over the days and weeks though it gets better and eventually there will come a time when you will forget all about your injury and just run.
When that occurs you have truly turned the corner on your injury. Until then try not to drive yourself insane which is easier said than done.
Frank Herbert
and it works. Good luck.
"He conquers who endures" - Persius "Every workout should have a purpose. Every purpose should link back to achieving a training objective." - Spaniel
http://ncstake.blogspot.com/
2014 was a great year for my running...until it wasn't. I crossed all my goals off the list - culminating in a huge marathon PR. But then I couldn't run. Not at all.
But then I couldn't run. Not at all.
My year has been pretty much a slower paced version of yours. I am only this week starting to try a few short, slow runs. We'll see how it goes. But the experience of my first serious injury last year is helping me somewhat mentally. The injury itself was not so serious, but it took 3-4 months before the pain finally stopped coming back. It was so frustrating, and I thought I might never be able to run again. Having been through that, this time I feel more confident that I will get back (of course I could be wrong). Nearly everyone here knows that feeling you're talking about. Just know that you will get through it. It may take a while, but you will go longer & longer stretches where you won't even think about it. And eventually you will stop being scared.
Dave
The good news is you're back running after 3 months off. Its going to take a long time to get back to normal.
Don't expect too much for the next 6 mos. just try to run consistent miles. The fear will go away when your body forgets the pain.
Thanks everyone for the sentiments.
Good news: Ran/walked 7.5 miles. No knee pain.
Bad news: Next day pneumonia took me to the mat.
Talk about weak......10 days later I am finally out of bed. Knee is probably ok - but when the hell will I get to test it,
Oh , and I coughed so hard I pulled a muscle in my back.
FFS.
At least I'll be well rested.........
Y'know it's funny, I thought after running 0.0 miles for the month of November, I would come back out of shape but at least I ought to be fresh. However I've been back running consistently (albeit short distances) for 1.5 weeks now. And while the spot of the injury is doing better (so far), it seems like most of the various aches & pains I had during heavy training are right back where they were. Guess my body just has a good memory.