Notes
I'll add some thoughts later. Want to think a little bit more about what I have to say.
Olivet Nazarene. 15 in the fast heat and we had 7 NCC guys (Ethan, Zachdiz, Jasper, Beaver, Andy, Chris, and myself). They lined us all up together on the line which made the start extremely chaotic. I got a good jump and tried to get out front but the rest of the field did too. I was quickly shoved and was worried I was going to go down. I was surprised no one did. Chris yelled "fuck" pretty loud which was kinda funny. We didn't even go out really fast as I heard 34-35 at 209 meters. But, the race picked up after that and I had to start moving around some people in lane 2 for the next couple laps. I think I came through 800 in around 2:08 and then 1200 in 3:15 I think. But, by 1000 I was toast and could tell I was fading. I felt absolutely exhausted already and was really pissed and frustrated with how things played out. Emotionally and physically I was spent and my last 400 apparently is a fucking embarrassing 83, which is absolutely pathetic. No words for that. I should have fought harder and showed some damn pride. Sucks I just fucking broke down mentally; I really felt like I had nothing left but thats not an excuse for closing that god damn slow. Just going to move on. I was really excited to race this and was knowing I was going to run great, but maybe I expected it too much and didn't just let it happen. Talked to Al afterwards and scratched the 800, at the time I thought there was no point with how I felt at the end of the mile and didn't want to just destroy my body any more, but in hindsight maybe I should have ran the 800, I don't know. Moving on, I need to have greater purpose just to have fun and not worry about times and just race.