Notes
Marathon #12 - Boston Marathon #5 - Retirement from Marathons
A good mile or so walk from my hotel to the long ass bus line, I also realized I forgot my sunglasses as I dropped my bag off. Bus line was a joke, then the bus got lost, took us to the wrong school, and instead of dropping us off at the athletes village, they left us behind the starting line, and then we had about a mile or less walk to the athletes village. Portopotty lines are also stupid, but they invented portable urinals since 2018, and that made us all happy pissers. I was supposed to be in corral 4, but I dropped back to 7, because I had no business even running the race, due to lack of training and zero long runs. Some dbag stepped on my magic beans as I was stretching at the start, it made me upset, and an old Canadian named Paul pointed out that my beans were on the fritz. I was able to salvage some and ate one before every water station. While we’re on the subject, people really need to learn how to grab water and GTFOOTW, don’t grab and walk, don’t walk and grab, just grab and move over, be courteous. Anyway, I actually stopped before mile three to have myself a piss, and quickly continued along the way. I went through the tunnel of ladies hollering and throwing themselves at me, and I broke so many hearts, as I did not kiss any of them. The bowels of mordor crept in around the half, but I cannot let lord sauron win, so I trudged along as one does whilst carrying the ring of power in his gut. Fast forward to the end, and my hammies were not happy the last 2 miles, and I did not want to be that guy crawling, so I just kept the pace and actually didn’t see any stupid people doing the airplane thing down the finish line for once, and that gave me hope for humanity. But the water cup thing is still a shit show. Had a mile walk back to the hotel, grabbed a couple New York slices along the way, and finally dropped the ring of power into mount doom. And now I’m retired, how was your day?