Notes
Day One: up and out. That's all I ask. sadly.
After another lost week - literally I have no itreadmill record which I was counting on - I am back at Day One. I think last week's problem was the post-period thing and I gave into it. One day slack thanks to a bit of depression and shin splints devolved almost imperceptibly into over eating (then I can't go out) and over smoking (then I can't run). Until at some strange moment something is triggered and I do something - in this case my laundry. doing this then leads to doing something else - cleaning a bit of the house and playing with Chloe. Then last night I wandered around the building to see the fireflies. Then this morning I got up, late but still at 6AM, and left the house.
The Run: Pushed ever so slightly on the first hill and then walked. Actually got tired and found myself walking on 37th street: the downhill part. Seriously. Then over the bridge and a walk/run/shuffle thing. On the way back over the bridge three people running in a line slowly passed me. They weren't even pushing it. I stretched at the memorial and felt alright. I walked most of the way deviated up 43th to r street because a house caught my eye. Then I went through the alleyway so I cold check on T Street. All seemed fine.
Pain Watch: Barely a twinge, my hips and thighs hurt more than anything.
Which reminds me that I have now rubbed through my running pants from target. How fucking humiliating is that? I'm sure I will learn to live with this humiliation to the point I bring on even more humiliating stuff in the future. I fully trust myself to sink as low as a I can ignoring along the way the horrid little things like only having one outfit, having no job and living off of family that would inspire others to take control over their lives.
But enough of that. I went looking for the log entries from the last time I thought I had shin cancer (felt worse than splints) and decided to push through a bit harder now. Last time I walked and ran but kept the overall distance up and it only took a few weeks until I was no longer reporting the pain. Back then I wasn't a total loser, I kept running until I collapsed and limped home in pain. Even then it only took a bit of modification to make everything all good again. The least I can do now is try.
So it's day One all over again. last time I made it to Day Eight. Maybe I can do Day Nine this time.