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Now we can all quit running (Read 1832 times)


Imminent Catastrophe

    I was up early preparing for a race, switched on the TV to check the weather, and made an astonishing discovery. It was an infomercial presentation for something called "Shapely Secrets". It's a program revolutionary system that utilizes the amazing new principle of "motionless exercise"! That's right, you don't have to do all that "sweaty, joint-pounding exercise", just stand there and lose weight. Not only that but it takes only 7 minutes per day! Here I was, about to run an ultramarathon in the pouring rain and it was all so unnecessary. Of course I was skeptical--at first. But they had testimonials! Lots and lots of happy customers raving about how they tried and tried to lose weight with diet and exercise, but once they started the secret system of "motionless exercise" for only 7 minutes per day, the pounds just melted off. One woman was in tears because for the first time her son could put his arms all the way around her. It was all so touching, it almost had me in tears too. My last reservations were swept away when I learned that a real doctor had performed "clinical studies" that PROVED that this program revolutionary system is 5 times more effective than lifting weights. A REAL DOCTOR! In a white lab coat! Wow. So, everybody, toss out all your running clothes and shoes, and send in your money TODAY! You even get a free bonus "success chart" (measuring tape). (I have no financial interest in Shapely Secrets) Big grin But seriously folks, in the old west "snake oil salesmen" would be tarred and feathered. Now they're internet millionaires. Dead

    "Able to function despite imminent catastrophe"

     "To obtain the air that angels breathe you must come to Tahoe"--Mark Twain

    "The most common question from potential entrants is 'I do not know if I can do this' to which I usually answer, 'that's the whole point'.--Paul Charteris, Tarawera Ultramarathon RD.

     

    √ Tahoe Rim Trail 100M 20/21 July 2013

    Boston Marathon 21 April 2014

    Tahoe Rim Trail 100M 19/20 July 2014


    Needs more cowbell!

      Damn...I'll bet it's cheaper than running, too...shoes, clothes, Forerunners, hydration belts, hat, sunglasses, Body Glide, GU, Gatorade, running skirts/skorts.... Tongue k

      I shoot pretty things! ~

      '14 Goals:

      • 6 duathlons (1 Olympic distance)

      • 130#s (and stay there, gotdammit!)


      Team HTFU NCTR Driver

        Interesting - the "shapely secrets" site names it's parent company - http://www.savvier.com/. They seem to cater to the exersizeically desperate (and ignorant) - 6 second abs, and various other crapola. No one ever lost money underestimating in the intelligence of American consumers... did




        I've got a fever...

          Interesting - the "shapely secrets" site names it's parent company - http://www.savvier.com/. They seem to cater to the exersizeically desperate (and ignorant) - 6 second abs, and various other crapola.
          Damn, Did. I though you were joking/exaggerating when you said 6-second abs, but you weren't. (I'm reminded of the confrontation between Ben Stiller and the wacko hitchhiker over in "6-minute abs" in There's Something About Mary.) I hope someday more Americans will realize that "extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence," but the sad fact is that as a society we are dumb and getting dumber every day.

          On your deathbed, you won't wish that you'd spent more time at the office.  But you will wish that you'd spent more time running.  Because if you had, you wouldn't be on your deathbed.

            I hope someday more Americans will realize that "extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence," but the sad fact is that as a society we are dumb and getting dumber every day.
            Amen.
            2009: BQ?


            Needs more cowbell!

              If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Or, as one of my teachers in HS would often say "there is no free lunch." People need to simply pull their heads out of their asses and quit the denial crap. k

              I shoot pretty things! ~

              '14 Goals:

              • 6 duathlons (1 Olympic distance)

              • 130#s (and stay there, gotdammit!)


              madness baby

                I love it how science "proves" stuff. That must be some kinda old school science. They don't teach that anymore. But it sounds good in ads. It's amazing to me how often the popular media uses the word "proves" to talk about research findings. Any scientist using that word should have their degree revoked!
                deb


                Team HTFU NCTR Driver

                  Indeed. Proof is for philosophy and mathematics. The rest of us require peer-reviewed, repeatable evidence! did




                  Eye Lick Two Rhune

                    I wear a, what was at one time white, lab coat when I teach my HS science classes I even have pocket protectors (2 of them). So by wearing the lab coat make me smarter Wink I see the dumbing of people everyday....... I yearly get my classes to believe that the world is flat and the whole moon landing was filmed in Hollywood. I do later tell them the truth at least the popular one going around right now Wink that the world is round. By the way we are studying the scientific method and not science is created equal.

                    ON THE 7th DAY, GOD DID AN EASY 6 "Running is a big question mark that’s there each and every day. It asks you, ‘Are you going to be a wimp or are you going to be strong today?'" - Peter Maher


                    Swadvad

                      I heard a radio ad the other day that repeatedly said, "Your credit card debt is not your fault!" Yeah, like the credit company held a gun to your head and forced you to purchase all that crapola like Shapley Secrets, etc. Because it was a radio ad, I couldn't tell if the announcer was wearing a white lab coat. Ha!


                      Needs more cowbell!

                        I heard a radio ad the other day that repeatedly said, "Your credit card debt is not your fault!" Yeah, like the credit company held a gun to your head and forced you to purchase all that crapola like Shapley Secrets, etc. Because it was a radio ad, I couldn't tell if the announcer was wearing a white lab coat. Ha!
                        Big grin

                        I shoot pretty things! ~

                        '14 Goals:

                        • 6 duathlons (1 Olympic distance)

                        • 130#s (and stay there, gotdammit!)