The mistake... (Read 574 times)

Names and dates altered to protect the innocent

Frank, actually is real name, ( a colleague of mine) decided to run the Ottawa marathon. He trained diligently and followed the advice of his wife an avid runner that has ran Boston. Frank, understood the importance of routine in his training. He adhered to a strict dietary regimen and did not devaint. As teh race approached he consulted the race web site to determine whether teh gels he had been consuming as part of his training would be provided or would he have to bring his own.

Much to his delight gels would be provided at all aid stations and there were aid stations every 3 KMs.

Race day came and Frank and his training mates arrived and followed the normal routine to prepare for their long runs. The gun sounded and he was off. He and his mates separted in te pack. As he approached the first station he seen a volenteer extend their hand offering a gel. He took it and quickly swallowed. He only, though for a second that it had a uniquely non flavour, not the typical strawberry/banana or vanilla that he favored during his training. Further, he only considered the delivery method of the gel as a means for runners to quickly swallow the necessary fuel.

Frank informed us that he took on the gels at every aid station and at some stations twice. It was at the 27th KM that Frank noticed something peculiar. A runner ahead of him, reached and took the gel he was reaching for and immediately applied it to his groin. Frank thought odd, "Why would one wipe gel on their groin?"

Why? Because, it was vaseline! The fact that the delivery mechanism was a tongue depressor was perceived to because of efficiency.

So it only took a few minutes for this realization to really take hold of his stomach. Needless to say the remaider of his race was not done at the pace or gusto as the beginning.

The mistake Frank made was not eating vaseline at the aid stations. No, no. It would come at the finish line. Upon completion, he found his buddies and they dicussed their times. When asked why he failed to make the time he so dilligently trained, he told his "friends" the truth.

Needless to say he will never live this down.

I am often curious as to how the volenteers and other runners reacted to witnessing Frank consume the "gel". Frank is 6'6'. He stands out.

The key is starting out just like Frank did (but of course not in a race situation), with popsicle sticks, one every thirty minutes or so. Over the course of weeks, you can increase both the rate at which you consume the vaseline off the sticks and the quantity of sticks. I've been at it for 15 years now, and the amount of vaseline that I can presently consume was unimaginable to me when I began eating it. I now average a tub of vaseline a week, and over two gallons of the stuff a year. The key, for me, is just putting it on the sticks. Once it's on the sticks, and I've got them in my pocket, it's just natural to finish them off.

Good lick to Frank!

Quote from Jeff on 7/8/2008 at 7:55 PM:

This is vaguely dirty.

And not in a good way, either.

I, on the other hand, have made the opposite mistake in several races. Oh how my friends laughed when they found out I'd been rubbing carbo gels into my groin.

Great story and I'm sure Frank's (aka "Petrol" or "Vas") friends will never let him forget. This is the first time I have ever heard of this, but then again, I don't get out much.

Since this seems to be a new trend in long distance fueling - what exactly is the caloric and carb value for a depressors worth of vaseline?