28. This town needs an enema.

29. Wish in one hand and shit in the other. See which one gets full first. (Props to my Grandma)

You can live here. But no voting unless you've done federal service. You wanna be a citizen, prove it.

Does the Federal Penitentiary System count!

Here's what I think...and that matters only to me. - The Republicans appear to have made a move to the center w/McCain. - It is interesting that he picked a Washington outsider versus Biden who is an insider in the highest sense. - Other than a new President, I am not sure what Obama is preaching about with "Change". He chose the above VP candidate and votes along party lines. What is new in his platform? - In order for the Gov't to make something happen somebody needs to build bi-partisianship. I think McCain has shown an inclination to do this. - The Dems have done absolutley nothing while in power in this congress. They have poor leadership and have squandered opportunity. If they lose this election the party will be devastated and they need to take a look at themselves. - Obama seems to be more flash than substance. Please someone tell me meaningful legislation that he has sponsored and that has passed???? He is a great speaker that has the ability to not really say anything...which means he is a good politician...which means no change.

First time on the internet, bdags? My advice: before your next post lurk awhile, learn what's going on and how things work on the forum, and maybe next time you won't expose yourself for the tyro that you are. Suggested subjects for study: SMILIES, SATIRE, HUMOR, IRONY, SARCASM. That should keep you busy for awhile. And whatever you do, DO NOT go to http://www.theonion.com. You'd probably have a stroke. BTW thanks for the lessons on class. Your opinion is very important to...nobody. MTA: Since you obviously missed the nuance, I will attempt to explain. The post that you took offense to was meant to illustrate how quickly the internet can generate stupid, absurd, ridiculous and offensive content. It was only a few hours after the Palin announcement that this website appeared. You completely missed the point. Next time, think awhile before labeling somebody an idiot.

Alright, "idiot" may have been a bit strong. I'm sorry. However, your sarcasm was well hidden. I'm no prude, but that acronym and the website itself is completely disrespectful to ANY woman regardless of political affiliation.

bdags and PerfesserR, you both need chill pills. I need someone to hound me about my lack of consistent running

Jeez modal, wth?! Look at how fat your log bars are! How fat are they? They're so fat that when they walk down the street, people say "Dammit! There goes some big fat log bars!" No, but seriously though, every time you skip a run, God kills a bunny. What did this guy ever do to you? Consistency man. Do it for the innocent bunnies.

Quoted in it's entirety for awesomeness purposes.