Speaking of squirrels (Read 483 times)

German squirrel on a rampage injures 3 people BERLIN - An aggressive squirrel attacked and injured three people in a German town before a 72-year-old pensioner dispatched the rampaging animal with his crutch. The squirrel first ran into a house in the southern town of Passau, leapt from behind on a 70-year-old woman, and sank its teeth into her hand, a local police spokesman said on Thursday. With the squirrel still hanging from her hand, the woman ran onto the street in panic, where she managed to shake it off. The animal then entered a building site and jumped on a construction worker, injuring him on the hand and arm, before he managed to fight it off with a measuring pole. "After that, the squirrel went into [a] 72-year-old man's garden and massively attacked him on the arms, hand and thigh," the spokesman said. "Then he killed it with his crutch." The spokesman said experts thought the attack may have been linked to the mating season or because the squirrel was ill.

I think this squirrel was in our house a few months back...crazy rodents....

TIM: There he is! ARTHUR: Where? TIM: There! ARTHUR: What, behind the rabbit? TIM: It is the rabbit. ARTHUR: You silly sod! TIM: What? ARTHUR: You got us all worked up! TIM: Well, that's no ordinary rabbit! ARTHUR: Ohh. TIM: That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on! ROBIN: You tit! I soiled my armour I was so scared! TIM: Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer! GALAHAD: Get stuffed! TIM: He'll do you up a treat, mate. GALAHAD: Oh, yeah? ROBIN: You mangy Scots git! TIM: I'm warning you! ROBIN: What's he do, nibble your bum? TIM: He's got huge, sharp-- eh-- he can leap about-- look at the bones! ARTHUR: Go on, Bors. Chop his head off! BORS: Right! Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew comin' right up! TIM: Look! [squeak] BORS: Aaaugh! [dramatic chord] [clunk] ARTHUR: Jesus Christ! TIM: I warned you! ROBIN: I done it again! TIM: I warned you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no, you knew it all, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, isn't it? Well, it's always the same. I always tell them-- ARTHUR: Oh, shut up! TIM: Do they listen to me? ARTHUR: Right! TIM: Oh, no... KNIGHTS: Charge! [squeak squeak squeak] KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh!, Aaaugh!, etc. ARTHUR: Run away! Run away! KNIGHTS: Run away! Run away!... TIM: Ha ha ha ha! Ha haw haw! Ha! Ha ha! ARTHUR: Right. How many did we lose? LAUNCELOT: Gawain. GALAHAD: Ector. ARTHUR: And Bors. That's five. GALAHAD: Three, sir. ARTHUR: Three. Three. And we'd better not risk another frontal assault. That rabbit's dynamite. ROBIN: Would it help to confuse it if we run away more? ARTHUR: Oh, shut up and go and change your armour. GALAHAD: Let us taunt it! It may become so cross that it will make a mistake. ARTHUR: Like what? GALAHAD: Well... ooh. LAUNCELOT: Have we got bows? ARTHUR: No. LAUNCELOT: We have the Holy Hand Grenade. ARTHUR: Yes, of course! The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch! 'Tis one of the sacred relics Brother Maynard carries with him! Brother Maynard! Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade! MONKS: [chanting] Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem. Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem. Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem. Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem. ARTHUR: How does it, um-- how does it work? LAUNCELOT: I know not, my liege. ARTHUR: Consult the Book of Armaments! BROTHER MAYNARD: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine to twenty-one. SECOND BROTHER: And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu-- MAYNARD: Skip a bit, Brother. SECOND BROTHER: And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.' MAYNARD: Amen. KNIGHTS: Amen. ARTHUR: Right! One!... Two!... Five! GALAHAD: Three, sir! ARTHUR: Three! [angels sing] [boom]