2000Km-1243 mile club

1

Need a guy's perspective (Read 374 times)

Dutchie42


    posted: 12/12/2008 at 11:04 AM
    An old friend of my ex's (we've been separated for 14 years and I haven't seen this friend in 13 years or so) called two months ago and wanted to come over for a visit. Told me he drove past my house in May but saw the renovations going on and actually assumed I'd moved. But he came across my phone number and gave it a try. This guy is friendly / nice, but boring as hell. Anyways, told him two months ago that I was about to go out (I did!). He called again yesterday evening and told me he'd actually called often but noone ever answered the phone. Well I rarely pick up the phone if I don't recognise the phone number. He asked if I was home this weekend and stupid me said "yes, probably". He'll call before he drives over (he lives about 15 minutes away). I thought it over and I've decided last night that I do not want this guy to visit without his wife. I think his behaviour is a bit strange for a married man. Plus I do not want to waste my valuable time on someone that boring. Would it be OK if I told him that I have broken off all contact with everyone I knew way back when I was still with my ex and that includes him (which is true) and I don't want him to visit? I mean, saying he's boring as hell and I don't want to waste my time is not a nice thing to say, is it?

    Dutchie
    I go running in the early morning, before my brain figures out what I'm up to.

    Run the day, or the day runs you.

    Actions determine state of mind - Aristotle

    Gig


      posted: 12/12/2008 at 10:52 PM
      That might not work. He might insist that he has nothing to do with your ex. You might have to block his calls, too. If you do agree to see him, meet him somewhere, and bring a friend, and maybe suggest that he bring his wife. And just don't. He sounds creepy. (And boring.)
      Runner67


      ...---...

        posted: 12/13/2008 at 12:19 PM
        Yeah - just give it to him straight.

        San Francisco - 7/29/12

        Warrior Dash Ohio II - 8/26/12

        Chicago - 10/7/12


        vista


          posted: 12/15/2008 at 4:17 PM
          Do you know his wife?.......If so at all, call her up and say that she "is invited too". The response by the wife to that offer will say a lot. My suspicions are that she doesn't know about this "visit". Another possible solution is to have someone at your place already when he comes over. The response you see from him when somone else is also there, will tell you a lot about his intentions. Good luck and let us know.
          Vista
          PerfesserR


            posted: 12/15/2008 at 9:42 PM
            Sounds to me like this guy is trolling. Let him know that he can't come alone. Either have friends there or insist that he bring his wife along.

            "Able to function despite imminent catastrophe"

             

            "The most common question from potential entrants is 'I do not know if I can do this' to which I usually answer, 'that's the whole point'.--Paul Charteris, Tarawera Ultramarathon RD.

             

             "They just couldn't believe that somebody would do all that running for no reason."--Forrest Gump

             

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            Dutchie42


              posted: 12/16/2008 at 12:20 AM
              Thanks guys. I'm pretty certain his wife (I used to know her too) doesn't know he's been driving past my house and calling me. I've thought about it and decided I really don't want to socialise with this guy at all! The more I think about it, the more his behaviour creeps me out.

              Dutchie
              I go running in the early morning, before my brain figures out what I'm up to.

              Run the day, or the day runs you.

              Actions determine state of mind - Aristotle

              NaderAlfie


                posted: 7/24/2009 at 11:48 AM
                Quote from PerfesserR on 12/15/2008 at 9:42 PM:
                Sounds to me like this guy is trolling. Let him know that he can't come alone. Either have friends there or insist that he bring his wife along.

                 emphatic +1

                Gig


                  posted: 7/24/2009 at 10:02 PM
                  Dutchie, did this whole thing get resolved? Did he give you any trouble? Did he go away?
                  Dutchie42


                    posted: 7/24/2009 at 11:08 PM
                    Quote from Gig on 7/24/2009 at 10:02 PM:
                    Dutchie, did this whole thing get resolved? Did he give you any trouble? Did he go away?

                     For the time being anyway Wink When he called I was "brutally" honest and told him I did not want him to visit. I'd gotten on with my life and I wasn't interested in meeting up with anyone from way back then.I offered to give him my ex's phone number, but he didn't want it.

                     

                    I haven't seen or heard from him since. That doens't mean he hasn't called. I don't pick up the phone if it's an "anonymous" caller. I explained the situation to the boys and told them if the guy called to just say I was out (on a date).

                    Dutchie
                    I go running in the early morning, before my brain figures out what I'm up to.

                    Run the day, or the day runs you.

                    Actions determine state of mind - Aristotle

                    Gig


                      posted: 8/2/2009 at 2:29 PM
                      I think if I was in his position, I'd pick up on the clues, and I can be pretty clueless.
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