Beginners and Beyond

Warning re: Runfoolery / aka James Park or JHPark on RW (Read 1057 times)

runmomto3boys


    I think that all the ladies on here should be warned about Runfoolery / aka James Park. Apparently, he is still in the group, which I think is a shame based on his behavior.  

     

    For the record, I am about the last person on earth who wants to be involved in drama or do something like this, but I think it's incredibly important that all the other women on here know about this in case you receive messages from him either on here or on FB b/c he is still a part of this group, at the very least.  At least FOUR other girls on here and I have been the unfortunate recipients of messages from him and they are all in the same vein; they start off kind of innocuous and then get creepier and creepier over time.  He has been warned about it by PM, but I think this warrants him being called out for publicly b/c there might be so many others on here who have been or will be contacted by him.   

     

    By way of background, I didn't know him from Adam when he first contacted me.  This isn't some buddy I had friendly banter with online or joked around with.  He's just some random guy who sent me some PMs out of the blue that while initially I'd describe as brash, turned to creepy relatively quickly. These are our convos from RW:

     

    8/17: re: line was "you're so pretty;" text: "just wanted to say that"


    -----> I didn't know him AT ALL at that point. Strange, but I wasn't creeped out or anything by that. I thought it was a little forward, but whatever. I responded nicely, though, saying:

    Awww, that is so nice of you! I was having a rough day, so that was nice! It put a smile on my face!"

    He then wrote back immediately (all of this was w/in the same hour or so):

    pardon me while i try to keep myself from melting...

    -----> Fine.  A little strange, but still not creepy. I just didn't respond.

    8/18, 9:00 p.m. He PMs me this:


    so on a scale of 1-10, how creepy would it be for me to send you a fb friend request just so i can see pictures of your lovely self?


    [jaw dropping emoticon is here]


    *swoon*....

    ------->  YUCK.  You want to gawk at my pics? I am creeped out. Everyone on RW knew I was married and had kids.  The kids are referenced in my screen name. I was nervous after receiving this and didn't respond, hoping he'd go away.

    He then actually sent me a FB friend request a week or maybe two later.  Not immediate. That made it all creepier.  And scarier.  I have a family and he was making me nervous.  I didn't accept.

     

    Then a month or so later sent me a FB message even though we weren't friends. I can't find it, but I didn't respond. He made some little comments here and there to me/about me on RW, too that were vaguely gross, in addition to the above.  All told, cumulatively and given what I know about what he said to the other girls, it just oozes ickiness.

     

    Then, on 12/1, in this thread - http://www.runningahead.com/groups/BF_and_Beyond/forum/c39b5db3b60548d09aa6880e0992c756/0 - which was about how to set your log to private, I said I worried my running routes were publicly viewable. Someone checked for me and the routes were set to private.  He responded:

     

    Heidi, sadly, your routes are private. Sad

     

     

    OMG.  I am understandably bothered, given all of the above, by this comment. Flippy jumps in to my defense and says:

     

    Okay, yeah....that comment was a tad creepy. You might want to keep that in check.

     

    He has the gall to respond:

     

    Only a tad? I was hoping for better than that!

     

    He then gets jumped on my a bunch of people for being inappropriate, which he was.

     

    I know something of his interaction with the other ladies and his MO is very much the same as it was in my case.  I think all of you should just be very, very careful around him. I really wish he was no longer a part of this group, but if he has to be, then the other women on here deserve to know about this.


    @runjerseygirl

      I just had this conversation with someone else via PM.  I got one message from him while we were still on RWOL:

       

               "i'd be happy to send you inappropriate messages, i know i'm having inappropriate thoughts right now Tongue"

       

      I ignored him and didn't get any other messages, thank god.  To me, it's one thing to joke in public forum where everyone can see and have a laugh.  It's another to send an unsolicited PM like this to someone.

      Do you even run?

      lilac_jive


      Jess runs for bacon

        Wow. Didn't know about this, thanks Heidi. I hate creepers.

         

        www.backuprunner.net


        Bad Ass

          Thanks for letting us know, Heidi.  Ugh.

          Damaris, Marathon Maniac, Ultra Runner

          Next:  San Francisco Marathon

          Blog

          "The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire."

          runmomto3boys


            I just had this conversation with someone else via PM.  I got one message from him while we were still on RWOL:

             

                     "i'd be happy to send you inappropriate messages, i know i'm having inappropriate thoughts right now Tongue"

             

            I ignored him and didn't get any other messages, thank god.  To me, it's one thing to joke in public forum where everyone can see and have a laugh.  It's another to send an unsolicited PM like this to someone.

             

            EXACTLY!  I am glad you piped up, Kay.  I just wanted to ignore it and make it go away, but when I heard of all of these other people getting PMs as of late + that latest contact via the thread, that's when it started to really bother me.  I think I would be doing a dis-service to all the other ladies on here NOT to say something. 

            happylily


              Wow... never would have thought that of him. He did write me a short PM many many months ago. It was very innocent and there was nothing more after I told him that I was happily married. I guess the age difference quickly convinced him that it wasn't worth pursuing. Big grin

               

              I have nothing against PMs between people in search of company. The internet is just one of many ways that people use to connect nowadays. But men (and women) should know when their messages/actions are not welcomed. It's too bad that James was unable to sense that he was going too far with you, Heidi. I totally understand your anger. Thank you for the warning!

              PRs: Boston Marathon, 3:27, April 15th 2013

                      Cornwall Half-Marathon, 1:35, April 27th 2013

              4 years racing, 14 marathons, 14 BQs     

                I am sorry that you had to go through that. He sent me an odd pm and I was very short in my respose. I even asked someone about him.

                fourouta5


                Hammy Tear

                  That totally sucks Heidi, please report to the mod's.   Great idea posting not only the name but the substance of his requests.

                   

                  I am always suspicious of any unsolicited PM or request, usually ignoring it.  If it is that important, then a 2nd request is often made.

                   

                  You ladies please be careful.  There are too many creepy guys out there, that's why we earned our reputation and should be treated as guilty before proven innocent.  I am not saying all guys are creeps, just that an abundance of caution is needed.  Notice how there are no threads about girls whistling or shouting out to guys why they are out running!

                   

                  Be careful.


                  Bad Ass

                    That totally sucks Heidi, please report to the mod's.   Great idea posting not only the name but the substance of his requests.

                     

                    I am always suspicious of any unsolicited PM or request, usually ignoring it.  If it is that important, then a 2nd request is often made.

                     

                    You ladies please be careful.  There are too many creepy guys out there, that's why we earned our reputation and should be treated as guilty before proven innocent.  I am not saying all guys are creeps, just that an abundance of caution is needed.  Notice how there are no threads about girls whistling or shouting out to guys why they are out running!

                     

                    Be careful.

                     

                    Yes, when you are havign issues, report it to the admins (me, LRB, etc.)  I was on vacation when that thread Heidi mentions happened, so I did not know all the details of it and there are even some deleted posts and everything.  So, if you do not report, assume we might not know.

                    Damaris, Marathon Maniac, Ultra Runner

                    Next:  San Francisco Marathon

                    Blog

                    "The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire."

                    Luke79


                      Wow....I wonder if he'll show up to defend himself?  That's some crazy shit.

                       

                       

                       

                       

                       

                       

                      xor


                        One of the things that RA does not currently do well is tell you who the "mods" are.  For a situation such as this in a user group, what you need to know are:

                         

                        Who the OWNER of the user group is... currently that's stealth_rnr.

                        Who the ADMINS of the user group are... Docket_Rocket is one. 

                         

                        You can tell both of these by using the "Reports" link on the left side of this post... the menu for this user group.  Admins and Owners are marked in that list with shields and a star.  The problem is that with 543 members, it is too hard to look.

                         

                        And for something at this level, you would want to include The Man, eric.

                         

                        Admins can kick a user out of a group.  Only the owner can BAN a user from a group.  What's the difference?  Banning is permanent unless the owner chooses to undo a ban.  A person who is kicked out of a public group can re-add him/herself.  In neither case is the person disappeared from RA... that is a choice for Eric to decide.

                         

                        mahalo

                         


                        Refurbished Hip

                          I was one of the aforementioned women in the OP.  Thank you, Heidi, for bringing this up. 

                           

                          And Damaris knows what is going on.

                          runmomto3boys


                            It's crazy to me how many women he contacted via PM.  Wow.  I had known of 4 others, in addition to these ones I didn't know of...that's crazy. 


                            delicate flower

                              Yowsers.  Sounds like he's PM'd nearly every woman on the internet.      

                              roboknee.


                              Bad Ass

                                One of the things that RA does not currently do well is tell you who the "mods" are.  For a situation such as this in a user group, what you need to know are:

                                 

                                Who the OWNER of the user group is... currently that's stealth_rnr.

                                Who the ADMINS of the user group are... Docket_Rocket is one. 

                                 

                                You can tell both of these by using the "Reports" link on the left side of this post... the menu for this user group.  Admins and Owners are marked in that list with shields and a star.  The problem is that with 543 members, it is too hard to look.

                                 

                                And for something at this level, you would want to include The Man, eric.

                                 

                                mahalo

                                 

                                Currently, stealth has ceded ownership of the group to me.  LRB is an admin as well.

                                Damaris, Marathon Maniac, Ultra Runner

                                Next:  San Francisco Marathon

                                Blog

                                "The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire."