Harpeth Hills Flying Monkey Marathon

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Idiots. (Read 351 times)


A Dance with Monkeys

    One of the fools who has registered to run the 2008 Harpeth Hills Flying Monkey Marathon recently composed the following statement: "The 'everybody wins' mentality, if accepted, truly would take away the motivation to achieve higher goals. Competition can be enjoyed even if you don't win. Of course winning is more enjoyable...There's nothing like the memory of a humiliating loss to drive you to do better. It makes a hard fought win much sweeter...Pain is part of competition." Wow. So poignant. And inspiring. But, sir, pain? Really, pain? Part of the competition? Ha! Kind sir, methinks that you don't know pain. Indeed, your definition of pain may very well change come November 23. You are in for a surprise. I thought we have been over that. I thought that I explained very clearly that this rinky dink little run in the park is gonna hurt. Really hurt. And if the hills don't get you, the monkeys will (is that a song?). But hey, I digress. I am writing really to remind you that, in fact, we still plan to put on the marathon. In just over a month. So, if you believe that training may help you, you may want to consider starting. With that in mind, also, a reminder of several points I have already made - - Every year, one of the things that makes the marathon great is the fact that the monkeys generally respect the treaty. And that runners and volunteers bring food to share postrace. A big potluck party buffet sort of thing. Heck, I usually bake some 10 pumpkin pies. So, please consider bringing along something to share with your fellow runners. We will supply the boring stuff, like beer. - We are looking for volunteers on race morning. So if you know of anybody smart enough not to run and who is jolly enough to watch you suffer, please let us know. Volunteers are awesome! - Packet pickup will be at the Gordon JCC on November 22, 2008 between 2pm and 4pm. The JCC is located at 801 Percy Warner Blvd, Nashville, TN 37148. This is less than 2 miles from the race start/finish area. Here is a map to the GJCC: http://tinyurl.com/MonkeyPacketPickup - Packet pickup will also be available race morning adjacent to the starting line. - We should be able to access the Gordon JCC for showers after the marathon. - If you plan on eating while in town, this link may interest you: http://www.harpethhillsmarathon.com/monkeychatter/viewtopic.php?t=2150 - If you are looking for lodging still, this link may interest you: http://harpethhillsmarathon.com/lodging.html - For those of you who somehow missed the first two emails I sent, this link may interest you: http://www.harpethhillsmarathon.com/monkeychatter/viewforum.php?f=1 - As always, if you have found wisdom and/or something better to do on November 23, please let us know. We want to avoid having to send out needless search parties among the monkeys. They never like that sort of thing. I will leave you for now and with this: I was in Louisville this weekend for the marathon. It was a nice flat affair along a pretty greenway on the river, and in which folks actually were able to use their running abilities to succeed. As I went through the downtown, I passed the Louisville Slugger museum, which you really must check out. In front of the museum is a 6 story tall baseball bat. That massive bat reminded me of the solid beating my quadriceps took running up and down the hills in Percy Warner Park. In fact, I think a solid beating from that bat would have been more gentle. Sleep well. Caveant cursores. May the runners beware. Trent


    The Greatest of All Time

      Dude, if someone has not actually started training yet....it's going to be ugly enough for those who are in shape. I can't even imagine. MTA: Can I request whip cream for my pie? Or should I bring that myself. Maybe I should bring a case and we can all do whippits after the race. Wink
      all you touch and all you see, is all your life will ever be

      Obesity is a disease. Yes, a disease where nothing tastes bad...except salads.
        "If you know anybody jolly enough to watch you suffer." Hee hee. LOL and stuff. Big grin Clowning around Smile


        Lazy idiot

          I have between 6-8 people traveling to watch me suffer, though I'm not sure volunteering is for them. As day of my expiration draws near, I'll probably need to get some suggestions from some on what their best options are for viewing the carnage as many times as possible.

          Tick tock

            Drew, will you pace me? When you start bonkin', I'll start runnin'.

            "You can't untrain for Monkey" - bdub

              Drew, will you pace me? When you start bonkin', I'll start runnin'.
              What am I some kind of freakin' lawnmower? I don't need any one to start me - coffee does me just fine.

              When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

                What am I some kind of freakin' lawnmower? I don't need any one to start me - coffee does me just fine.
                No, not Bonkin, bonkin'. Huge difference.

                "You can't untrain for Monkey" - bdub


                Lazy idiot

                  No, not Bonkin, bonkin'. Huge difference.
                  I will not be bonkin' Bonkin. I don't care how nicely you (or he) asks. I suspect you will be running faster than I. now... for real question. I'm pretty sure I'm being mocked in some way in your original request, but I don't get it. If I'm "slow" enough for you to start running when I bonk, why hang back? Edumacate me, so I can laugh at me, too.

                  Tick tock