Five cross country practices per week - my 'new to running' kids cry 'too much' - what should I advise them to do? (Read 1246 times)

OK, I'd like some advice or feedback. Especially from former (or current) high school cross country runners. My two sons joined their high school's cross country team for the first time this year. One is a junior, the other is a freshman. Both are involved in lots of other activities and like to do things after school with their friends like any typical high school kid. Neither has run for running's sake before, although the junior is a soccer player and is in pretty good shape. The cross country coach suggested they run during the summer, I think 20-30 minutes per day, 3 or 4 times per week. They both ran during the summer, but not as much as recommended. Anyway, they started cross country practice last week. They practice 5 times per week, so it has been quite a step jump increase in training for both of them. This week, they now are saying that they'd like to skip one practice a week. They implied that 'everyone does it' and that they were going to do this without consulting the coach. When I pressed them further, it turned out it wasn't because the training was too hard on them. Rather, they just want to have some time to hang out with their friends after school every once in a while (their best friends are not on the cross country team). As of now, school ends at 3:30 and practice starts at 5 and ends at 6:30. So it does really take up their after school time. Anyway, I only started running 2 years, when I was 42. So I have no experience with cross country teams or what the expectations are. I can understand where my kids are coming from, but my guess is the coach would not agree that "everyone skips practice" about once per week just because they feel like it. Certainly not without first discussing it with the coach and supplying a reasonable rationale for skipping practice. The only reasonable rationale I can think of is that if the step jump increase in training really is too hard for them, given their lack of experience, then maybe it is reasonable to discuss with the coach the possibility of a more gentle ramp up in training. I really want them to keep up with running, but I don't want them to 'shirk' their responsibilities to their new team or coach either. Any advice or thoughts on how to negotiate this little situation? Thanks in advance for your thoughts!

I'd talk to the coach about this "skipping practice" pattern. Life lessons are being taught at this age. When I was in track and football, if an athlete missed a practice, he missed the next game/meet unless it was due to illness, injury, or an emergency.

Damn, kids are wimps today. It's official, I'm a grumpy old man.

Testify brother. I know this is probably the wrong forum for this, but do any of the former HS football players out there remember 2-a-days? When I was in HS I played baseball all summer for two or three different teams, one my age group, one an age group higher, and a legion team. There were a lot of days where I would have to practice with one team and then go straight to a game for another. Or days where I had two games in the same day and one the night before. Not too bad if you're an outfielder but I was a catcher. My point is that if you're 15, 16, 17 years old your body is able to handle that kind of stuff. It's not a physical thing it's a mental thing. I know the whole honoring commitment thing seems old fashioned so I would frame it more as just building good habits. The absolute worst thing you can do to a teenager, ( mine are 19 and 17 ), is to allow them to develop the habit of just getting by or doing things half assed. I would suggest you strike a deal with them where they don't skip any practices for two or three weeks. If, after that, they haven't found the groove and want hang out time the I would actually encourage them to just drop it entirely.

I'd give them a choice: They either go to practice, every practice, or they quit the team. However, if they quit, they have to replace it with another activity or get jobs. Then hold out the employment section of your local paper. If they truly don't like XC, I think it's counter-productive to force them to continue. But letting them quit to go hang out with friends? That's what study hall and weekends are for. Plus, God forbid they make new friends on the XC team.

I disagree. I am a big believer in finishing what you start - especially for kids. If they decided to try it out, they are in for the whole season - and I would remind them that they made a commitment to the team, which includes going to every practice. If they dont like it, they dont have to join again next season, but I would make my kids finsih out the season and would definitely not allow skipping practices just to hang out (after all, when they start working in the real world they wont be able to hold much of a job if they skip one day a week to hang out).

I don't like skipping practices or quitting altogether, especially just to hang out with friends. I think that sends the wrong message. One of the things I miss the most about high school is organized sports. Sure it was fun, but it also taught me about working with working with others, commitment, etc. If they were my kids I'd make them finish out the season. I think it's one of those things that they would hate me for now but thank me for later.

Just to pile on, don't let them quit or skip. They signed up and have made a promise and committment to others. Even if the stink at it or don't like it. Why? I had the same issue with football when I was in High School. Mind you I attended HS in Alabama where football is not a matter or life and death - its much more important than that. I was a soccer, basebal and golf guy and I thought it would be fun to give it a try. Well, two-a-days in August in 95 degrees and 90 percent humidity + the physical hitting just plain sucked. I wanted out, but my old man said no. His exact words were, "you made a committment and you finish what you start". He's not the kind of guy to triffle with so I maned up or HTFU and kept at it. After a few weeks it got better and I made some new friends that I still keep in contact with today. Basically I sucked at football except the kicking part. Only got to play in one game and didn't play again the next season so I could focus on sports I really liked. What I learned was that I could do something I didn't want to, honor a committment to others, gain some self-respect for toughing it out and so on. The life lesson was priceless and as much as I hated my old man for making me play, I'm still thankful to this day he did it. It has served me well for all these years. So, no skipping and no quitting. Once you quit for the first time, it becomes easier to do/justify it the next time. Stay strong and good luck. BTW - this is the rule in our house as well. No quitting and give 100%.

My son is in the same ballpark......he signed up for Cross Country (he's a JR this year). He told me months ago he was thinking about it and I tried to get him to up his 4 to 8 MPW to at least 20mpw (over the months) so that he would be ready when the season begins..... he finally started running 5 days per week (LAST WEEK) in anticipation that he will be OK for CC next week.....LAUGH and a HALF... not even close to ready I think you should tell them what I will tell my son -- SUCK IT UP - you signed up - now go do it...... I also know that I talked to my sons CC coach a few times over the past week and he acknowledges that most kids won't be in the shape he expects, but they expect them to be there and to run - as they are preparing for meets right out of the shoot......for untrained runners, its going to be hard for while, but kids bounce back faster then us old guys...I'm 56.... As far as friends are concerned....I fight this battle with my daughter (as well as my son) and flat out tell her that if she signed up, she has to go..she can see her friends on the weekend and I dont care what 'other kids' are doing.....makes her mad...but so what.......I always figured my job was to be the bad guy anyway....its what my dad did for me...... When they argue, I tell them that if they miss their activities, the can't go have fun........they will have to stay at home and help me work around the house........THAT FROSTS THEM....

And with all the travel involved with my son's sport I know it has made him a more mature young man. When we went to Texas for a tournament, there were at least 400 kids staying at the same hotel. And I tell you what, you would not have even known there were that many there. At breakfast, they ate as a team, hung out as a team, spent their free time as a team, hung out with kids from other teams and had a blast. There was no extreme noise, the place stayed ass clean as it was before they got there, they were respectful. Kids can learn a lot from being part of a team.

I can't imagine the Hell I would have brought down on myslef if I told my parents track practice was too hard and I wanted to skip a practice a week. I agree with previous posts. You make the team, you stick with the team. And by the way, kudos to all of you high school X-country kids out there getting ready for your season. Treasadfp's kid, you sound remarkable. I'll be thinking of you when I see the long, lean, string bean kids pass me at the park near high school.