"Being the best that you can be is possible only if your desire to be a champion is greater than your fear of failure."
---Sammy Lee

Welcome to a new week.

I overslept this morning, so decided to concentrate on one workout instead of splitting it up.  Did an hour of core/strength training and will either go to the pool after work or go home and do the stationary ride.  Probably pool since The Hub is suppose to be home tomorrow for two nights.  This week is going to be kind of stressful, especially Wednesday.  I keep asking, but I'm asking again - we could use some prayers and positive vibes.

Have a great week, folks ~

Ditto, Leslie....but you know...you are sounding a bit less stressed as you go...the workouts must be working  

& yes, I did see cgerber again @ Hardrock (he ran last year also) although I did not talk to him at all...took me a minute to recognize him - lost some weight & buzzed his rather bright red hair!

Hey Ev!

           "Cindy keep us up on your adventures when you get time so we can live them vicariously."

Hmmm, now why would you wanna do that!??  Nuttin excitating goin on in these here parts!   We have a tad less than 5 wks left to TRR, so trying to spend some time at elevation (ran/hiked Boreas Pass yesterday for 21 miles, 4.5 today). I have 4 events (that I'm working) almost back to back:  off on Friday for a week+ for RAGBRAI, then up to Copper Mtn for 2 days for the Copper Triangle, then abt 9 days out for TRR, then one for the Boulder Marathon...doing GD mtn bike junior league in btwn, and....seems to me I'm forgetting something! ?  Oh yeah, real life like gardening, mowing, tending to the dogs, moving DD's stuff in Sept I believe *& hopefully her SO's stuff sometime before that, STILL have that big landscaping project to do - which will not be happeing whilst I'm out of town & the temps are hanging near 100...maybe that will happen sometime in Oct ~ but then again, we still have some pretty good local-ish marathons yet then...hmmm?

A friend of ours is featured in the Trail Runner Mag this month! Anita Ortiz, Eagle, CO ~ check it out! She makes me look rather wimpy & lazy!

Gettin HOT! ~  off to find cooler locales>>>>>



Yup, Doug is running TRR. The whole enchilada - 120 miles! .....& I wish I had half my energy!  

18 hilly miles on the bike this am in 90 mins + several hrs of misc around the house: move several large rocks, load car w/stuff that needs to go back up to the mtn house sometime this wk (?), reorganize a part of the garage & storage cellar, field a few phone calls (beer break), scrub a cpl floors., check emails (ie: veg break before pm round)....

Yeah HOT! around here too....relatively - for HERE!    we keep breaking it up w/some heavy (for here) T-storms - still having a bit of seasonal "monsoonal flow"   Breck got something like 3.5" in about an hour Monday...added to the snow melt = MAJOR flash flooding issues! Few roads are seriously damaged.

Good luck with your harvest, Jim!  **fingers crossed!!** 

Congrats Kelly!! Very kewl!

17.5 hilly miles on the bike this am - in post-heavy-rain conditions!  ~ Lots of puddles & mud & not much for speed to be had!   Doug got caught in the deluge last night. Took a spill. left some minor skin & collected lots of mud!

.....onward with all those other chores.....

Hey kids. Been reading more than writing but unfortunately, can't post much at work lately. Been super duper hot as Arla has noticed and I understand we are not alone. It's the humidity that gets ya and since I "froze" my gym membership until it snows again, I have been sucking it up and doing it outdoors. Niner in the hills on Monday, searching for some shade. 10.5 in the sauna Tuesday. Mercifully, a fog bank came by the beach last night but my legs were too pooped for more than a 3er. Getting close to 100* today. Yikes!

Hi, Everyone - I've tried to keep up somewhat over the past couple of days, but have very little energy to do so.  The last couple of days have been extremely hard, but some of the worst is over.    I know I've been cryptic about what has been happening in my life, and this is going to be very hard for me, but I think telling people exactly what's going on is therapeutic, because what's happened has happened, and nothing can change it.

My husband was fired from his job of 20 years on April 7 for embezzlement.  As the story has unfolded over the last few months, I am now able to clearly understand what has been happening the last few years.  I've always known he was an alcoholic, and I knew things were getting worse, but as many of you know, an alcoholic has to be willing to admit he or she is an alcoholic before any kind of healing and recovery can begin.

As I told Shorty, I had always thought that one day I would receive a phone call saying he'd been arrested for a DUI and had either hurt or killed someone in the process.  The blessing about the embezzlement is that he hit his bottom without physically injuring or killing someone.

To my shock, Shorty has fully embraced his sobriety, or at least appears to.  This is the 2nd blessing.  This coming Tuesday, he will have completed 90 days of rehab, all of it at his request.  The change that has overcome him in the past 90 days is nothing short of miraculous because I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd have a sober husband.

Shorty never tried to deny what he did, nor has he ever tried to lay blame anywhere but squarely on his shoulders.  About the day he was confronted, he says it was the best day and the worst day of his life.  The worst because he was caught, the best because this lie he has been living with for so long is finally out in the open, and it has forced him to face his alcoholism.

On Wednesday, not only did Shorty celebrate 90 days of sobriety, but he was also sentenced to 9 months in the county jail.  The DA wanted a year, but the judge gave him 3 months' credit for the time he has spent in rehab.  Six or 7 people from his former place of employment showed up, and the manager, Morgan, who also was his friend, spoke.  Sitting in that courtroom and listening to Morgan describe my husband as some kind of monster was one of the hardest things I have ever done.  It was awful.  Yes, many of the things he said - which were a reiteration of the extremely venomous letter he wrote to the court - were true, but he also painted a picture of a man who was nothing short of a monster.  Obviously, my husband has many defects and issues he will spend a lifetime trying to overcome, but he also has many redeeming qualities, none of which were allowed to be spoken of in open court.  Five or 6 character reference letters had been submitted on his behalf by folks who are willing to support him/us and were attached to the probation report to the judge, which had a sentence and probation recommendation, but again, nothing about the positive aspects of his character were allowed to be spoken of in open court.  It was one of the most painful experiences of my life.

All of this has been extremely hard to deal with, and I have run through the entire range emotions over and over again - from shock, anger, shame, embarrassment, to the question of why.  I don't know if we'll ever know the true reason why, except to say the stealing was fueled by the alcoholism, which was fueled by the stealing which was fueled by the alcoholism.  An extremely vicious cycle.  I am working my way through this with my own personal counseling, and I am trying to embrace Al-Anon.  However, I have been so angry, a lot of my attitude has been $%*& it, I don't want anything to do with any of this.

On Saturday, July 30, two days before our 24th wedding anniversary, Shorty reports to the jail to begin serving his sentence.  Ironically, I work about 1 block from the jail.  I have no idea where our relationship is going to go, but I have made the promise to not make any definite decisions until he is out of jail and we have a chance to try and repair our relationship.  It's not going to be easy, but I know in my heart I could never live with myself if I didn't at least try.

Some of what has been hard is knowing that, as this all comes out in the public, people will undoubtedly think I knew what was going on and was a part of this.  I knew nothing, and have been devastated by it all.  Not only has it been unfathomable that my husband could have done this, but it also has made me feel very stupid, foolish, naive, guilty . . .  We have been blessed with a wonderful attorney who has assured me that in his experience, rarely ever is the spouse aware, but I still feel what I feel.  And in open court on Wednesday, the DA went so far as to "accuse" me of knowing, and  I had to sit there and take it when what I really wanted to do was stand up and shout, "If you're going to accuse me of wrongdoing, then charge me."

So that is the whole sordid tale of my life the last almost four months.  I know I didn't have to tell anyone what is going on, but the truth is the truth, and I am slowly learning to live with it and to push the shame aside.  I have been blessed with the friends here in my "real" world who have provided me with unwavering support, and I have been blessed by the support I have received from you, my "virtual" friends.  I can never express how much it has meant to me, each "thinking of Leslie," "{{{Leslie}}}", the private messages, they have pulled me through some very dark times when I was unsure how I would make it.

So to each of you, thank you so very much.  I hold you all close to my heart.

More hugs for you Leslie. I can't really understand what that must be like for you, but I will reiterate what I have said before. You have a stubbornness and steadfastness that has gotten you through your ultras and long ass training runs. That attitude is what is going to keep you going. Don't give up. Keep your head high. You did nothing wrong but have to pay a high price for your sanity. We are with you. Keep on keeping on.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you everyone.  Arla, that video was wonderful.  It gave me goosebumps. 

The whole thing was the lead story on the news last night.  I wouldn't have known about it, except a friend called and asked me if I had been watching.  Thankfully, I was able to give my dad a heads up before he went in to work last night.  As is par for the course with the news, the got only a portion of the story right.  Both TV and print said he pled guilty to embezzling X-number of dollars, which isn't true.  He pled guilty to felony embezzlement only.  The amount is being dealt with at a separate hearing, and the information we received only on Monday, two days before his sentencing, is based on conjecture and not proof.  Unfortunately, it's an amount that makes me nauseous, so of course it's more tantalizing.

Ugh!  So sorry to go on and on.  I went grocery shopping this afternoon and am still a bit wound up in the emotions of wondering if I'd see anyone I knew.  Thankfully, I didn't.

I did, however, go for 6-mile power walk this morning with a group of women doing the Team in Training.  Karen was the substitute coach today.  It was fun.  The foot is barking minimally, but it's still enough to tell me it's not ready for anything more than walking.  But hey - at least I'm walking!

You guys are wonderful, and I have some wonderful friends on this side of the 'net, too.  I couldn't get through this without all of you. 

But now I must go transcribe!  Enjoy the rest of your weekend, friends -