OM - you are far too hard on yourself. You will be back out there, we all do the best with what we have. I prefer to look at things the other way around, be grateful I can do any exercise what's so ever when I'm in such pain, and admire anyone who gets out there and exercises. Maybe its because I've been taken down a couple of notches, or maybe because I have a father who can barely walk but gets out there & pushes to his absolute limit (which isn't much) every day & has accepted that as his reality after being very active for most of his life (he's only 72).
I'm sad that people see this thread as a pity party or whining, not for myself though. It is just a fact, I do miss running & running as well as I could. So, when I am able to run a few steps a few times (like yesterday), I celebrate. I just don't beat myself up anymore - and I am quite the thinker, feeler type too. One day at a time, one step at a time, be patient and good to yourself.
. I always think ''well, at least they're OUT there'' when I see a heavy person out walking.
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I always think ''well, at least they're OUT there'' when I see a heavy person out walking.
I have to admit, since I've had back surgery a week ago I've become a lot more humble. Gotta agree with you Tom. I still haven't gotten over feeling bad when I see runners and they look so, well, happy.
(((OM))) You're not a "running snob" OM, you're just reacting to major physical trauma to your body. I think it would be pretty common to be fearful after everything you've been through. My doc told me the greatest risk the first couple of weeks after surgery would be infection, and that's why he was so firm about not overdoing it. It's only been two weeks - give your body a chance to recover and heal and I'll bet you're back out there in no time.
MilkTruck - no whiners here, only "venters."
{{{OM}}} You are a strong, healthy, loving, caring person. Give yourself the space and time you need to heal, mentally and physically. We are all here for you whenever you need anything.
Leslie Living and Running Behind the Redwood Curtain -------------
Trail Runner Nation
Sally McCrae-Choose Strong
Bare Performance
MM #6177
Thanks for the encouragement, folks. I think my biggest problem is that I'm disappointed with my inability to stay positive in spite of the turn of events. I mean, isn't that what everyone's been praising me for all this time?? But no, when push comes to shove, I'm just as much a downer on myself as the next person.... I should be better than that... yeah, I know, more rationalizing and being hard on myself, but as tomwhite said, at least I'm in touch with my feelings... [eyeroll]
Oh, and just to be clear, I don't consider what anyone else says on this thread to be whining or a pity party. Only my posts are. Let's hear it for having higher standards, whoop-de-freakin'-do.
who says life doesn't have a soundtrack?
Hey everybody speak for themselves! I will accept any and all pity anybody wants to heap on me! Feel free to post "Oh poor Twocat!" all you want. Only somewhat more seriously, it is frustrating to see others running, to look back and remember what it was to run without pain and (relatively) without effort. Being human is nothing to be ashamed of. Telling others who share your frustrations, if that helps and it sure helps me, seems perfectly within bounds. Now whining to your unencumbered or non-runner friends is just going to end you up without any such friends! So I say whine here. Whine free! Whine all you want!
Live like you are dying not like you are afraid to die.
Drunken Irish Soda Bread and Irish Brown Bread this way --> http://allrecipes.com/cook/4379041/
Being human is nothing to be ashamed of.
Thank you. Please, everyone, keep telling me that. I'm an idiot because I keep forgetting that.
"Being human is nothing to be ashamed of."
OK, that's enough. sheesh...
Oh, poor Twocat
"Being human is nothing to be ashamed of" is a great quote. Lately, I'm trying to remember one from the bible every time I get to feeling sorry for myself. It's from Luke. Sorry, don't know the chapter/verses, and sorry if this seems too "religious" but it's been working for me lately every time I sit down on the pitty pot:
"From whom much is given, much is expected."
Kinda puts my minor aches and pains in perspective.....
Ah! Poor Twocat!! . . . . . okay, that's enough.
Nothing's too religious, JLynne. I'd say just about everyone in this forum has a high power in some form or other.
Being Human is Nothing to be Ashamed of.
Boy, too bad I didn't read this when I went off the deep end a little while ago. Hobbling around all day trying to get things done, foot hurts, and I dribbled milk all over the counter, at which I yelled at the top of my lungs, "WHY CAN'T ANYTHING GO RIGHT?!?!?" Yes, I feel better now.
And by the way, OM - I refuse to consider you to be a positive person anymore . . . . . does that help?
Ah! Poor Twocat!! . . . . . okay, that's enough. Nothing's too religious, JLynne. I'd say just about everyone in this forum has a high power in some form or other. Being Human is Nothing to be Ashamed of. Boy, too bad I didn't read this when I went off the deep end a little while ago. Hobbling around all day trying to get things done, foot hurts, and I dribbled milk all over the counter, at which I yelled at the top of my lungs, "WHY CAN'T ANYTHING GO RIGHT?!?!?" Yes, I feel better now. And by the way, OM - I refuse to consider you to be a positive person anymore . . . . . does that help?
My usual internal tirade is "is a little perfection too much to ask for? hmm???" Oh yeah, I'm way messed up....
Thanks for the veto of confidence, Leslie. Yes, that does indeed do the trick. (ooh, any other word-nerds notice how "vote" and "veto" are simultaneous anagrams and antonyms? way cool....)
Yes, Jlynne, it's all good. Many paths, one truth. Jus' sayin'
Oh, sorry, forgot.... {{{{{{{{{{{{TwoCat}}}}}}}}}}}
Seriously now, thanks everyone for the support. I realize what's happened: I forgot to breathe, plain and simple. So back to "work" for me.
Ahhh OM - you know a little negativity is okay, in fact necessary to making progress. Now too much negativity.. lol its a freaking balance, just like the alignment. I try to focus on what is the "best thing for my body" not what I want to do. It takes practice, but it works.
{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} for all!
So I have news - I don't know if its this thread, or if its TW advising me to bike or swim.. which means not even walking? But somehow I ran a little this weekend, a few steps here and there both Saturday & Sunday... funny how it makes all the difference Now I'm not delusional enough to think I can go out and start running again... but it sure felt good! baby steps! I can deal with that.
#artbydmcbride
Congratulations Rindaroo, it is good to see you running, even if it is just baby steps!
Runners run
Thanks!! Hoping to continue in this direction
Now I'm not delusional enough to think I can go out and start running again...
Ah but that's exactly what you did.... and yes, the labeling of it is what's going to trip you up... so don't call it "running" or anything else... just do what you do, and let it unfold naturally.... so happy for you!!
Last summer, when my S/I pain was constantly getting in the way of me wanting to run, I basically stopped the "wanting" part. I said to myself, ok, I can't run, fine, I'm good with that. Then I'd go out for a jog anyway. No expectations, no labeling, just did it. Slow as molasses, little shuffling steps, listening to my body to try to understand what wasn't working properly where, and what was working overtime to compensate. Somehow I found that completely letting go what I could control let me access what I couldn't....and in this unbalanced way of muscle engagement (or rather non-engagement), I found a painfree way to run. But I was never TRYING to run, oh no, not me...
Hopefully telling you the story of this will remind me how I felt and that's how I'll get back to running myself. After this infection scare last week, I've been more afraid to try to run than physically unable to. Yogi Berra IS right, it IS 90% mental and the other half is physical.
OK, the thread title is "I Miss . . . .", right? Well, I know now what I miss... I miss ME....
.... good to know...
OM - well I mean running again on a schedule towards getting back to where I was last year. I always do that, and then hurt myself.. Right now, I go by instinct & my body has finally figured it out.. when I shouldn't run, it doesn't want to, so I listen. Now my head ALWAYS wants to, but there is a difference. This past weekend, alignment was somehow a little better, and was able to a little. For so long doctors have been treating my symptoms, but not he source of the problem. And after the breathing/gallbladder issue, I understand the importance of getting to the source now. So, that's what I'm doing. I have been doing rehab massage once every two weeks, and its been helping slowly, and I believe I understand fully now that its my upper body muscles, but the problem I've had for years now is how to get them strong enough to stop the alignment slippage without hurting myself.. I keep doing that!! And now its to the point of muscle deterioration as I get older, and I think that's why its gotten this bad.. With a shoulder injury, a neck injury, and still pinched nerve issues in my neck, and pelvis slippage - you'd think I was 90... yikes!
With all this - I kinda found me through running, and I know what you mean. Two years ago after my pinched nerve incident, it was all downhill & I had to admit to myself that I was hurting myself.. and to be nicer & because I couldn't run, I ended up starting a whole midlife crisis thing.. to find me, the real one.. not the running one. If that makes sense at all? Running is only part of it, but it certainly is a part. So sometimes you find something beautiful from the negativity, if you are willing to really look and follow. And yes I found it, and you know what? I STILL love running!!
Oh, poor Twocat!!! C'mere darlin',... let me give you a big hug!! {{{{{TwoCat}}}}}