Notes
Coach Slichter told me I need to be more smart about what I do at practice, and that I need to think more about the future, not just about finishing the workout at the time. I told him I have no future in the sport as of right now, so why waste time now making provisions for a future that is not in existance?
As a senior, I feel like it's my job to encourage everyone. I make sure I tell them to keep running no matter what, that all it takes is just putting one foot in front of the other, to concentrate on keeping proper form, on using their arms, and just to finish the workout without walking. I tell them that no matter what happens, they can always run farther, they can always dig deeper and find something within themselves that they didn't know they had.
I say these things, but then when I say them to myself, the only response I get is pain, pain, and more pain. Today was probably a 13 on a scale of 1-10, but what do I do? I make sure I sprint the field at the end. I just can't bring myself to stop, to do anything different than what I'm telling other people to do. And here Slichter is telling me I need to stop. And that it's not quitting, it's being smart. Yet when we're running hill sprints, he tells me to "run through it"? Which is it? Quit or Kill Myself?
I just don't remember the last time I was this tired and in this much pain. It literally hurts to breathe. And I get to get up tomorrow, go get new spikes (I don't even know why anymore), go to the trainer at 1, and go through it all again at 6:00. All I want to do is just sleep. But there is no rest for the weary.
This is Cross Country.