Forums >General Running>OK, or NOT OK - A Short Poll
One day at a time
The rule at our Y is no one under 18 is allowed in the opposite sex locker room.
But if they are over 18, it's OK?
Dave
Party time for adults, though!
It's complicated. 3 and under in a Men's bathroom, absolutely. Sorry, but there are times when I simply have no other choice. And the gym I go to has a 'family' locker room, so I conveniently get to avoid the direct issue, but lacking that kind of option I can certainly see it happening. Not as a cultural thing, mind you, but a matter of practicality. It's just uncommon because men aren't usually the primary caregivers. Let me say this: if it ever were the case that I needed to bring my 3 year old daughter into the men's locker room, it's on me to make sure she's not staring while you get changed, very much in the same way that I don't let her look over the booth in the restaurant and ogle other patrons. I do think it's pretty silly to think that she'd be scarred simply by seeing a naked man.
It's complicated. 3 and under in a Men's bathroom, absolutely. Sorry, but there are times when I simply have no other choice. And the gym I go to has a 'family' locker room, so I conveniently get to avoid the direct issue, but lacking that kind of option I can certainly see it happening. Not as a cultural thing, mind you, but a matter of practicality. It's just uncommon because men aren't usually the primary caregivers. Let me say this: if it ever were the case that I needed to bring my 3 year old daughter into the men's locker room, it's on me to make sure she's not staring while you get changed, very much in the same way that I don't let her look over the booth in the restaurant and ogle other patrons.
I do think it's pretty silly to think that she'd be scarred simply by seeing a naked man.
+1 missed this post earlier. My husband was a SAHD, and we have two girls, so the swimming pool issue did come up, and it absolutely does present opportunities to teach manners. What's interesting is that I know parents of boys who get incredibly nervous about sending them in to men's rooms alone; that's a big milestone or something. So thinking about it more, I do think fear plays a huge part in this. The men's room/men's locker room is seen as not safe. But here we're talking about a situation where the parent is with the child.
A Saucy Wench
There are boys of that age in women's locker rooms all the time. *All* the time. People start raising eyebrows about it at, maybe, age 6 or so. Especially at, say, swimming pools or beach change houses - dropping the kid off at childcare is not always an option. So, what's different about a little girl in a men's locker room than a little boy in a women's locker room? Just expectations? We're used to women having care of young children, so understand they'll have them with them? Probably fears play in too. Even with the father/male adult with the little girl, there's a fear of men causing harm to children? You solved the "problem"; you moved to the next locker bay. As you note, others may opt to change under a towel, be more discreet. Doesn't seem unreasonable to me.
There are boys of that age in women's locker rooms all the time. *All* the time. People start raising eyebrows about it at, maybe, age 6 or so. Especially at, say, swimming pools or beach change houses - dropping the kid off at childcare is not always an option.
So, what's different about a little girl in a men's locker room than a little boy in a women's locker room? Just expectations? We're used to women having care of young children, so understand they'll have them with them? Probably fears play in too. Even with the father/male adult with the little girl, there's a fear of men causing harm to children?
You solved the "problem"; you moved to the next locker bay. As you note, others may opt to change under a towel, be more discreet. Doesn't seem unreasonable to me.
This
What you think they should leave the kid outside in the hallway while they change? Ask some stranger to watch them?
It's just a body.
This is an old Bill Cosby routine. He talks about how men freak out at a little girl in the mens room who is 6 months old, but a boy can go in the women's room with his mother forever.
I have become Death, the destroyer of electronic gadgets
"When I got too tired to run anymore I just pretended I wasnt tired and kept running anyway" - dd, age 7
Nothing like nudity to light the fire on RA!
"If you have the fire, run..." -John Climacus
sugnim
I wasn't going to comment on this, but I accidentally voted wrong, so I wanted to correct that. It is OK.
I see nothing wrong with a 3 year old in the opposite-gender locker room with their parent. How else is a parent with a child of the opposite sex supposed to use the locker room and get their child changed as well? Chances are, the child's attention will be on their parent and their focus will be on changing clothes or going to the bathroom. My son is an infant, but I won't hesitate to take him into the women's locker room when he is 3. If he looks around too much, I will remind him that it is not polite and that we do not stare at people or comment on their bodies. Otherwise, I don't think its reasonable to hide the human body from children, nor do I think it's reasonable to ban all parents & children from locker rooms if they happen to be of the opposite gender. 3 years old is way too young to send on her own into the women's room, so she will have to go with her dad if that is who she has to care for her.
Labrat
Absolutely fine foe the first few years.
As has been said generally more of an issue where swimming is going on than a traditional gym locker room.
5K 20:23 (Vdot 48.7) 9/9/17
10K 44:06 (Vdot 46.3) 3/11/17
HM 1:33:48 (Vdot 48.6) 11/11/17
FM 4:13:43 (Vdot 35.4) 3/4/18
ultramarathon/triathlete
When I was little my parents took me to the University pool to swim, pretty frequently. Often I was with one parent and the other was off elsewhere (errands, working, who knows) and I'd be with my sister and brother. We'd be in the women's public locker room if with my mom, men's faculty locker room if with my dad. There was no family locker room, and no baby sitter.
It wasn't an issue. I was probably 3 or 4, my brother and sister younger. If my sister saw some dude's junk or if my brother or I saw some old lady's bits, I'm sure none of us remember and none of us are crazy pervy social weirdos because of it.
It's no biggie. It's a non issue.
If you're uncomfortable changing in front of a 3 year old of the opposite sex, well, that sounds like an issue to me. They're three. There's no concept of sex yet. Westerners make such a huge deal out of nothing. Besides, you don't have to flash it to them. When I change in a locker room with my friends, they don't see my junk (if they did, I won't care, but I don't flash it around). You can cover up with a towel.
HTFU? Why not!
USATF Coach
Empire Tri Club CoachGatorade Endurance Team
Personally I'm uneasy with any children, boy or girl, in the men's locker room because, nowadays, society teaches all children that unknown males are to be regarded with suspicion. Now I have to remove my clothes in front of one of these children that have been pre-conditioned to be suspicious of me? I'd change under a towel or go as far as possible from the child for my own defense. I'd also resent this person for putting me in that position.
Why is it sideways?
This thread is starting to freak me out, guys.
Yup yup yup. I used to like to be in charge of handing my dad his towel when I was wee. I don't remember anything about his genitalia. Didn't register. But kids aren't asexual. They might notice. And that's okay, too.
Then again, when I was in grade school--maybe 4th or 5th grade?--my teacher would walk us to swimming lessons and hang out naked in the locker room with us girls while we got dressed. I thought that was weird, and she was of the same sex. But I was older, and I also turned out gay.
Call me Ray (not Ishmael)
Sultan of slug
+1
I'm not going to act like I'm super comfortable getting naked around little kids, but when it comes down to it: whatever.
Also, there have been multiple comments about how "Westerners" are all uptight about nudity. This paints too broad a picture. Ever been to Germany? There are freaking naked people everywhere.
#artbydmcbride
<plans to visit Germany soon>
Runners run
A good number of German pools are clothing optional.
This uptightness is predominantly a US issue.
In the UK its completely normal to change on the beach. Adults with a towel to cover things, kids not so much.