Notes
Wow...where to start. Well this has been a tough year for me. I've battled through (and with) a lot of injuries in 2011. I’ve had a sportsman's hernia, torn meniscus in my knee, patella tendonitis, chronic sesamoiditis and so on. I've had to change myself as a runner. Some maybe for the good, but some of my 2010 still haunts me. I haven't done a RACE since Baystate in October 2010. It broke me....mostly physically....but in hindsight, maybe a bit mentally too. I've entered a few races since then...but they were little local-schmocal things that were nothing more than glorified training runs and fitness checks. This was a race. This was something I was working TOWARD for the first time in a year. With that came some good training, but I had to change things up a bit...more singles since I was working on my feet all day, some added trail runs, etc. But mostly I've enjoyed the journey and the change.
Onto race morning...after freaking out for the last 48 hours about what to wear (CWX compression shorts, 3/4 length tights, or regular shorts) I settled in on the long shot...the CWX compression shorts. The temps were calling for 32 at the start and about 49 at the finish. I've never run further than 12 miles in my CWX shorts and I still hadn't really decided if I liked them, but I bit the bullet because I get hot easy, and I felt like I needed some extra support. This ended up being one of the best choices of the day. These shorts are awesome! No chaffing...which is nice when you run all freaking day long, and as my hip would tell me later...I needed the support.
We get to the start and it's freezing outside! OMG, why didn't I wear the 3/4 length tights? Why am I in a sleeveless shirt with arm warmers!? I need a long sleeve shirt...OMG this is bad....I haven't pooped yet, and the race starts soon...I need to pooooooppppp!!!! Okay, so those are just a few of the thing going through my head. I did manage to poo once before the race. This is usually a little "light" on the poo side for me before a race, heck even a run. So I was a little worried I may need to make some pit stops on the course. But at least I had peed several times already this morning, so that wouldn't be an issue.
Race starts and I find Blaine, we run together at the start. For those of you who don't know, Blaine is my boss, the owner of Fleet Feet Sports Roanoke. He's pretty much one of the best people I've ever met in my life. I mean that on so many different levels. He's 50 years old, about to run his first 50 miler. We work together, train together, and if I was going to get in a fight in a dark alley I'd want him there. He's a man's man...and he's totally transparent. He wears his heart on his sleeve and it's obvious he's the kind of person that changes lives. It has been an honor to get to know him, and to be able to toe the line together for our first 50 miler. We did one race together before, the Carvon's Cove Trail marathon in June. This was one of those local races where I wanted to see what I still had. I took it out hard, like The Thunder would...and I blew apart at mile 18 when it got tough. Blaine throttled me the last 6 miles and finished about 15 minutes ahead of me.
So we are off, we decided we'd like to run together for the first 20-30 miles, but knew things might change that. We joked that he would have a leash on me, so I didn't do anything stupid. Things went according to plan for the first mile and a half on the road...then I had to pee. Weird, I've already peed several times this morning...oh well, I catch back up to Blaine and we've covered about 3 miles now...I have to stop and pee again. Uh oh...this is my first serious worry of the day. The one time I felt like I had a big problem with my "electrolyte" balances was at Boston 2010. I peed a lot the day before and during the race and I fell apart big time. How was I going to run 54 miles with my shit out of whack?! Anyway, I try to stay patient, but the thought had creept in. A few more miles go by and before we leave the morning darkness we take a turn down a road and get a great view of the line of runners behind us in the darkness. One little light on each runner’s head, bounding down the road; it was like looking at a stream of stars in the night bouncing down the road. Great image, I told Blaine that it looked like a line of little trains running along. Then I reminded myself that when things get tough, I need to be a train! Anyway, we leave the road as the sun begins to come up. I stop and pee again and at this point (6 miles in) I'm totally freaking the fuck out. I know my race is shot, and I won't finish. This will be another one of those fucking DNF's that Trent and "The Swamp" harasses me about. OMG, I can't even imagine what Candice is going to say, she'll go run a sub 3 marathon tomorrow and I'll come back to report on another DNF. Well, all will at least be normal in swamp land again....
We run up some hills (there will be a LOT of that) and are on the trails. Feels good to be on the trails and we're passing some of the people that ran out a bit too hard. I hit the first checkpoint in 70th place. I was seeded 56th, so I think we took it out well. We run on a few miles and I stop and pee again. That's 4 times in just over an hour. My legs feel weak and I can tell things are out of balance. The one good thing I told myself is that I have 20 "Saltstick" tablets on me, and lots of Nuun...so I can get things back in whack if I work at it and stay on schedule! One electrolite pill every 30 minutes, washed down with lots of Nuun and a Gu Roctain every 40 minutes.
I see my wife up ahead and hear her beautiful voice cheering for me and Blaine. Some of you have heard her at races...you know that you'll never hear a better cheer than my Liz...she's so LOUD! It's hilarious and awesome and always makes me smile. We start to cross a creek right before getting to her and she tells me to be careful because someone just fell. I try to slow down and skip across the rocks and I slip...going down into the water and banging my leg on a rock. My foot and hand are soaked and it's cold. I barely feel the knock on my leg...but I feel like I have a pretty good tolerance for physical pain so this isn't much of an issue. I run on by and hit the station quickly. Then I realize that I barely acknowledged my wife. In the hurry to assess the damages of my fall I just blew by her. She got up at 4 AM too, and has been alone in the dark for the last 3 hours or so...I and I just totally dissed her.....OOOOPPPS! Well at least that gave me something to thing/worry about for a while besides myself. That was good. The next several miles went by in a blur. Blaine and I started running with some other people. We came across this one girl, Jamie Darling, that seemed like one of those people that always it a bit too peppy....but she was cute, so I let it slide. She mentioned that she did this race last year, and only did one training run! She had been injured and mountain biked for her training leading up to the race last year and was only able to get in one training run. She of course finished the race. However, was disappointed in her time and looking for redemption. She quickly bounded away from us on the down hills, but we had seemed stronger on the ups. I commented to Blaine that I thought we'd see her again down the road.
So time goes by...I'm not sure how much because things were pretty uneventful for a while. Blaine started to pull ahead of me at one point on a steep hill and I let him go. He was obviously stronger than me, and he's a better hill runner than I am anyway. I was still worried about my electrolytes and I figured it best to let him go. Besides, I still didn't have much confidence that I'd finish this race. Around mile 17 we hit a nice steady uphill...maybe 800-1000 ft of climbing and I got into a good rhythm. I cruised past about 5 people and caught up with and passed Blaine again. When I got to the top I took extra time at the aid station eating as much as I could. MMmmmm potatoes dipped in salt are DELICIOUS during a long run! Who knew? So Blaine and I head down this big hill and uh oh...I need to poo. So I let him go and I take care of business. I hurried it a tad...because cute girl Jamie was coming down the hill behind me, and I really didn't want her (or anyone) to see me taking a crap. That turned out okay, but I was a little worried I didn't take more time to flush out the system. We run down for a while and I start feeling good for the first time today. I easily catch back up to Blaine and we run together for a while. He tells me that he's having a hard time and I obviously look stronger than he is. This is where I tell my first lie of the day. I tell him that we're doing great and we just need to keep moving forward. Even though I felt good at this moment, I knew I would DNF and I was just trying to keep his head in the game so he would be able to finish. I told him how good those potatoes were and encouraged him to eat some at the next station.
When we hit the base of the big climb (the 5 mile, 2,500ft climb) I felt like a beast. I encouraged people to join me and let's roll up this thing. I popped my Ipod in one ear and cranked up some tunes. I was rolling up this thing! I passed about 8 people during the first 1,000 ft. I was in a good rhythm. Then my hip basically locked up on me...uh oh. I had some problems with it on some training runs, but never a big issue. It freaking HURT. I'm sure most of you have had that pain in your hip flexor...and it makes it hard to lift from your hips. This is not good in a race with 9,000 + ft of elevation GAIN. But I kept moving forward as fast as I could. About half way up this climb we came to and aid station where Lizzy was waiting on me. She had a big smile on her face and was so encouraging. I told her that I was hurting, and she told me to eat an orange. I'm not a big orange person, but I felt bad for dissing her at the last stop...so I ate it. :) Love you honey! I stretched out a bit and then headed up what would be the toughest climb of my life. So the 2nd half of this climb is much steeper, I had no idea. It totally broke me. Mentally, physically, and emotionally. I was done and I gave up on that climb. It turned into a glorified hike, and I pitied myself. I'm a failure. I'm a quitter. I'm no good to anyone. I kept moving forward. I heard the aid station at the top is where most people drop. I planned my drop. I hope Liz is there, I want to hug her, because she loves me anyway. Apparently she doesn't realize how much of a failure I am. Then I see Blaine coming up behind me. Hammering away at the hill...just like he did when he passed me at mile 19 of our marathon. I shout some encouragement to him, because I want him to finish. I won't dare mention to him that I'm going to quit, because I don't want to plant that seed in his head. This is by far the biggest mental down of my day.
Then off in the distance I hear the Rocky theme song, wait….I've heard of this station. It was so freaking loud. It's cheesy as hell, but it really got to me. I start to try and run as much as I can. Then there are all the signs on the route with scripture written on them. I'm a semi-religious person. Some times more than other times. Then I come across a sign with Isaiah 40:31 on it, "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." it got to me. This was the favorite bible verse of my H.S. XC teammate who died at practice one day. I often think of him when I run races, and he gives me strength. I needed it today, and as always he gave it to me. I made it up to the station right as the theme song ended. It was as though it was my personal theme song. I loaded up with food and didn't even notice my drop bag. I blew by it without another thought. Blaine didn't catch me on that hill....but soon caught back up to me at the next station. We were about 27 miles in and my left quad was cramping. The electrolyte thing finally caught back up to me. My hip was killing me, and now here comes the cramps. How am I supposed to run another 27 miles?! Wow...no way. Another huge down on the mental roller coaster. I took an Alieve (Sorry Trent), it was a last desperate attempt to feel good. I think it helped. Either that or the stretching. But my stomach had revolted. Gu tasted like ...well Gu and my stomach was a block.
I remembered the conversation I had with Jamie Dial (Ultra runner Champion), the day before and he told me about 5 or 6 hours in my stomach would give out on me. No matter what… he said, I must keep taking that gel on schedule. Force it down. If you puke it up, do it again. My watch beeped, it was time...I forced it down. I gagged. I felt sick. I didn't puke. 40 minutes later my watch beeped. I gagged, I forced it down....it was horrible.
During this time Blaine had passed me again and I knew that would be the last I saw him. Images of Mikey Mike running past me at Baystate went through my head. Another challenge lost. I gave words of encouragement and said I'd still be fighting...but we both knew that wasn't the case. I was done, and "The Loop" was coming up. The most technical and mind boggling section of the race. Big technical ups, and downs. I hit the loop, still running forward and I thought of my father who almost died this summer. He is strong...I need to be more like him. Keep fighting...keep moving forward. Halfway through "The Loop" I caught back up to Blaine. He was hurting bad. I gave him some encouraging words and went past him. I wouldn't see him again.
Something really funny happened right around hour 7 of my run. I took my Gu and it tasted good, and I felt good. Like...not just kinda good....I felt damn GOOOOOD! I started rolling. Flying past people. My hip gave up, it decided I was willing to hurt more than it could. My legs stretched out and I rolled. The music in my head was getting louder and louder, I was off the loop. I rolled through a station where I was told I had 13 more miles to go. 13 miles to go...and I felt GOOOODDD! That sounded like a drop in the bucket…like the last mile of a 5k. I knew it would hurt, but who would drop out during the last mile of a 5k? Holy crap, I'm going to run 54 miles today. For the first time I realized I could do this thing. I saw Lizzy and smiled. She had been so worried about me today. She's seen me quit before and she had to know that I was going to quit today. I dropped my hydration pack with her, and gave her a kiss. I told her, "Holy shit I feel good...it's time to drop the fucking hammer!!" She said, "I'll see you at the finish!" As I shouted back to her, "You're damn right you will!"
Most of the next couple of hours went pretty well. I tried to remind myself that 13 miles out in a 54 miler probably isn’t the best place to “kick it in”, but I picked up the pace a bit. No more big downs mentally were to come. There was one more big climbing section, but I knew it would be the last and that gave me strength. It was the four quarter now. Time for the smack down, and it's easy to be a hero at the end of the game. I passed about 5 people during this last 2 hr 30 minute stretch. One person passed me. I realized when I hit the last aid station that I'd break 10 hours and I tried to really run it in those last 4 miles. I averaged about 8:30 pace for the last 4 miles, and I think I ran my last mile close to 7 min. The hardest thing about those last few miles was keeping everything together emotionally. Knowing that I was about to see Liz and cross that finish line was such a wonderful thought. When I almost came to tears I had to switch my Ipod to my favorite song (Thunderstruck of course) and I cranked it in.
Finishing was awesome. No big hoopla, no big crowd...but this is Mt. Masochist, not the Boston Marathon. You do this sort of thing mostly alone, and it feels good to finish mostly alone. Part of that is a lie coated in truth. There are so many people that got me through this, mentally and emotionally. But at the end of the day I kept running when I wanted to stop. My good friend Jeff says, "Runners Run". Dammit that's what I did. When I wanted to stop, I ran. When I felt low, I ran. When I felt good, I ran. Runners run.....
54 miles in 9 hours, 36 minutes, and 39 seconds. Up 9,000+ plus feet of elevation gain. I'm proud of myself, and I feel like bragging. Been a long time since I felt this way.
By the way, Blaine finished in 9 hours, 49 minutes and 43 seconds. He ran his last four miles faster than I did. Watching him run into the finish line with his two girls about made me lose it. 50 years old and he's a beast.
Mountain Masochist….you’ve just been Thunderstruck!