Notes
Running is cleansing for the Soul, even with extreme pain. One could tell right away without a doubt the pain I was in taking a look at the pace per mile. I could not even run faster even if my soul have wanted to. I was grateful that I made it to 10 miles. The first 4 miles were torture. Then I froze (-7 C Frankie said) and my finger tips were really in pain. I literally took a step at a time moaning and groaning inside. It is not fun running like this at all. It is the CS that causes me to suffer but it has become more severe (possibly due to extremely cold weather?) and affects the actual shin bone. It is almost as running on stilts. After 5 mile point it eased slightly but not for speed. The run became more bearable in terms of pain. However, I was really strong up hill. Hills love me and I love hills. My cardiovascular strength is amazing. Even with all the health issues I am facing I am amazed how strong I am running up steep hills. It feels as being flat and my breathing is so easy if only I could sprint. I have the desire and ability and I am grounded by CS. I feel helpless at times whilst at the same time I am grateful even for getting the chance to run. What a contradiction is my running life at the moment!!!! I managed to get above the 20 miles this week anyhow. Hopefully I will be able to maintain the mileage even with pain and even in a slow pace. Maybe the body will recover and allow me to run again. I need God more than ever now. I have the will and I have the determination. I just have to continue to believe and not lose faith. No matter what, it all stems from the inside. I have been there before so I just have to keep fighting the 'devil'. I should not allow myself to forget this.
I should have not logged this as an easy run. It was a tough run testing my body and soul.