Notes
This was a desperate run. A run from the heart. I have been up for most of the night with the usual throbbing pain of my inflamed foot. It was confirmed two days ago by the Dr that although infection has gone the inflammation of the foot / bunion is thriving and that it will take some time before gets better and heal. Days are tough and nights are a pure nightmare. I can only take so much and this morning I was re-considering for the first time ever and questioning 'What Am I Doing Here'? The world looked so different to me so much so that I had to run. Running, I said in the past, is my medication and crazy at it sounds it is my medication even when all Dr's would say 'Don't Do It'. I was up talking to Franc during the night in pieces. I woke up broken and beaten up after just about 1 hour sleep. I had almost enough and after I took Evgenia very early hours on the Ice Rink I just went ...I lost time... sensations ..... I was desperate. It was then that ...............................................
Coach's wish and request became almost a command for me. I went out there first thing in the morning and run 6 miles as I had given my word I would do. At least, I said to myself, even if I do not do Boston at least I have kept my word of honor to the very end and have exhausted all possibilities and options.
In desperation I started on a high note. I was not looking at the watch but feeling the body from the inside. I was not thinking about the inflamed foot I was just listening to my music and wondered into the depths of my inner self. I knew I was running faster than I would have when planning this run. I wore first time my proper Saucony Marathon shoes with the neat hole I opened on the bunion part the other day. I bandaged the foot as I have becomenow an expert on how to do it. I felt comfortable with no pressure whatsoever. Of course the sole of foot was slightly giving me a grazing sensation at times but I could handle it. I combined flat, up hill and Steve hill and down hill on this run so to assess the level of pounding and positioning of the foot. I was managing. I felt emotionally great and strong inside. Physically I was slightly breathless and I could feel the lack of sleep in the body. But I was strong and light. Amongst all this unfortunate sequence of events I have managed to control my eating cravings and maintain a light body weight considering that I have hardly run or put any miles for last 3 weeks. My determination to keep the body light has paid wonders in today's run. It is so easy to drift when not running and give way to easy solutions such as food and bad habits. But I know My Marathon comes first.
Before I did this run I doubted for the first time whether I am meant to do Boston. Boston this nights felt zillions of years away in Stevie's words. But after this run I visioned myself on the Start Line again with the knowing smile as Coach would say. And what a lovely feeling this is!!!! I am grateful to GOD. I will always Be.