Notes
It has been a tough two weeks with pain and the fear of the unknown. Today I NEEDED to run my own way. The weather is attrocious with strong winds and heavy rain. It has been raining all night and most of the morning no stop. I HAD TO GET OUT. I took the car further up to 3 miles and went up on the Shawhead Hills all prepared and dressed up for a short but wet run. I WANTED TO RUN FREE. My old fellow Greek Kazantzakis wrote:- 'I have fear of nothing, I hope nothing, I am free'.
I ran up hill wrapped up in my thougths and feelings. I felt free from the very first step. The weather felt and looked pretty harsh. I knew no-one would be up there for better or worse. As I was running up hill I could feel my feet sinking in the coming strong flow of water on the road. I was enjoying every minute of it. The weather got worse and for first time I found myself instead of avoiding the paddles just running right through them. It was so powerful, risky and fun at the same time. I would normally avoid paddles if I could but today I was right in the middle of them immerced in the water up almost to the half of my legs. I just felt like a naughty kid smiling and giggling to myself whislt my Mother would shout 'Do not go in the water'. The wind was strong and tail wind on the way up. I knew it was going to be tough on the way back as I would have to face the rain and wind to my face. The paddles became deeper and deeper and there was no space/room on the side for me to go anywhere. I was still having fun. A farmer's jip arrived wandering whether I was o.k. I just kept going strong nodding all was o.k. No fear but only an earned sense of FREEDOM. Suddenly the paddles became small rivers and in a way I was running with them. Sometimes with the flow and sometimes against the flow. STILL FUN. Then I thought about Bruce Lee saying 'Be Water My Friend Be Water'. I felt so good and so much part of nature. Almost united with it. I was an intergrated part of it. I was so lucky to be able to run and see this. I just realised how much I Love Scotland today. The winds became stronger and the paddles deeper and deeper. At approximately 3 mile point I knew I had to return. I worried a bit about the car on the hill and the strong currents down hill. Today I know that certain parts of Scotland will be in trouble of fladding. I made my way back as quick as I could. The level of waters were raising by the minute. I was soaked to the bone and had to face strong rain blowing to my face. I was still feeling free and so near to God. I ran very strong without expectations, fear or pain. I set myself free. I felt united with nature. This was one of my best runs ever. You cannot buy freedom in the shops even if one had the money. It is priceless. Today is my Mother's 16 years anniversary. Exactly my daughter's age. This run of freedom is dedicated to her and God. I do know she is in God's hands. This was an amazing experience after a tough night.
I was lucky to make it back home. The 3 mile journey back was not easy. It was almost felt as if I was in a hovercraft rather than a car. Many emergency vehicles on the roads to keep the roads clear of fladding.