Notes
Day 14. Riley has still not let me out of the basement. I have maintained satiation off of lint fuzzy's found in the basement, and stale Tostitos from 2012. Sometimes Riley lets me out... but I am handcuffed to the table and if I breathe too loudly I get tasered :( The freedom only lasts for about 30 minutes every 5 days--oh, how I missed the sun. How am I running you ask? Via a horse and carriage system that Riley has devised to get free travel. I must pull her in a radioflyer. I miss my freedom, but Riley has assured me that this is for my protection, since if I go outside without her, the alien's known as CO-v1d- i9 will hurt me! Hopefully, soon they will return to their mutant planet so I can regain the 30lbs I lost and learn to feel something again. I hope you're all having a splendid day!