Notes
Where should I begin?
First off, I was super excited for this. I was absolutely confident in myself that after years of conference let downs, I would finally come through for the team. Knowing that our coaches did not run Christopher because they believed that I could get the job done only further encouraged me. The plan was to take it out hot (3:02) and improve my national mark and win the race. I knew that if anybody was challenging me late that I would be able to throw in some surges over hurdles to open that gap up. Nobody in the meet should be able to hang with me late. All was going to plan until 2150 meters into the race. While I was a little surprised that there was still people hanging on to me, I also knew that they were putting everything into it whereas I was just cruising. Maybe I wasn't focused enough on what was in front of me. Literally. Next thing I know is I am rolling on the ground after crushing the barrier with my trail leg. I remember getting up and being immediately passed by two people. After never ever falling in a hurdle race (which I have been running since my 7th grade track season), I was in complete shock. My knee was throbbing and my head was definitely not in the race at that point. Heading into the last lap I had dropped back to 5th. I woke up on the back stretch and knew that I could still win this thing. I gave it my all that last 250, even straight up hurdling the last water pit in the process. Pulled up with Ryan Courtney with 50m left but ran out of gas after that. I crossed the finish line in a disappointing 3rd place.
I was definitely a mixed bag of emotions after the race. Sometimes I felt anger. Other times disappointment. Some fake joy made its way in a few times but was usually replaced by a sick feeling in my gut. That night I laid awake from 2-3 am and replayed my race over and over again in my head. What if I hadn't fallen? what if I had woken up sooner? what if I had committed to that finish farther out?
24 hours later and I was in a much better headspace. Spitz and I talked about it and what's funny is that I did just about everything wrong that I could and still was only 6 seconds from a pr and lost to the winner by under 2 seconds. I am so annoyed by reading all of the stupid #steepleU junk that all the central boys are posting because I am like bro you didn't earn that I gifted that to you. Excited for last chance this week. Les than 10 minutes after my race coach Dunham was asking me where we would go for last chance so I could lead his boys through again. Too bad they won't be able to hang.
There were some big positives that have outshined the negatives. When things went wrong, I didn't throw in the towel. I fought back. I am in phenomenal shape. Somehow this made me even more confident in my abilities. First time ever scoring at conference and first time on the podium to add to that. Our team destroyed the conference. I finally feel like I actually contributed.
Hard to imagine I let my conference journey ride out like this. I hear there is some new legislature in the NCAA. Anybody heard of it? Asking for a friend ;)
Through all of this, I put my faith in the Lord. Thanks be to God.