Notes
Initial thought was that this race was just a bad dream
Begged coach for a chance to run a 5k. Felt a little sickness coming at me towards the end of the week but I didn't care I knew that I would have a race. Thought I would have a good race. Was low key desperately wanting to finally have a good race. Shakeout felt terrible but my warm up felt fine. Got in the race and I don't even hardly know what happened after that. I remember coming through the mile right where I should've. Then I remember moves being made all around me and me trying to tell my legs to go with but just no response was given. I know that that was all in my head. I remember throughout the race calculating in my head the times I would need to close in in order to run at least a salvageable time. And then I remember crossing the finish line, in dead last, in nearly complete and utter disbelief. You know its a bad sign when you aren't even mad at yourself anymore after the race. Sick or not 16:20 is like really bad considering where I should actually be at. Where does one find confidence when they seemingly have lost nearly all of the confidence they had in themselves? asking for a friend. Enough negativity, God still sends the sun to rise in the morning. I can only except this current state of mind as valleys and hills that God has put in front of me. Obviously this isnt true via physics, but if you go down you ought to just keep on getting back up
Just want to wake up.