Notes
Two and a half weeks later I am commenting at last. Still have super mixed emotions about this. Heading in Drew and I had talked to each other numerous times about our plan. Had talked with coaches numerous times about how to get that all conference you gotta put yourself in that mix. Gun went off and didnt feel like I was hardly pushing at all. First mile went through in 5:11ish and was somehow ended up in the front pack. Was looking all around for where my group was but couldnt find them. Mustve been here where I lost all focused. Got passed by a group and after that it was juts an onslaught of others passing me. Saw the dream slip away and mentally allowed my race to slip away as well. Super frackin selfish reasoning. Got done and felt emotionless. Was so mad at myself for how it went that I didnt even care it was over. Those arent the terms that I am letting myself go out on.
Nothing can take away from my complete mental relapses during the race but here are some outside forces that I had no control on.
1. My cycle was completely disrupted this week with having to leave home and float at houses all the while being away from the team. Knew I was going to race but it was also always in the back of our heads that we might not.
2. Heat+tough course. Shame on me for not preparing better myself better. Figured since I had ran on Centrals course so many times I should be fine. Nah, just under estimated it.
Positives: best finish ever at conference by 13 places. I know our team is dissapointed with how it looks but somehow I have been our 15 man all 3 years I have ran at conference which means that we placed 15 in the top 44. Wartburg still got the W. Our coaches and teammates still love me. One race doesnt define a career.
Onto some killer winter training then out with a bang in track!