Notes
Oh man. I had put in some good training but I was never quite convinced that it would be enough. The mileage wasn't high. I probably averaged 40-45 miles a week for the training cycle. That hadn't been my plan but it was what it was. Personal issues at home and the mental energy it takes for me to deal with that kind of shit lead to a few down weeks. The average weekly mileage wasn't much more than last year, the only difference being that it was a 5 days a week plan (last year was more like 6-7). The days off kept me injury free and the days on were tough and built me up physically and mentally.
There were a bunch of little things that I did extra like taking iron more regularly than usual in the months before, cutting out a lot of drinking and watching the diet in the weeks before, taking 2-3 ibuprofen a few hours before (I know), morning marathon wake up shower, earrings, mascara, lipstick. Swamp singlet. New socks. Pop tarts. Things the morning of to feel prepared. Like I am ready to give it everything.
I thought about mental toughness variously throughout the training cycle. I think stadjak and I did one or two long runs together. Maybe more, I don't know, they were early on. He made some comment about the number of times that I stopped and the length of time that I stopped. He said that I am training to run a race nonstop, so I should train that way. I made more of an effort with that in all of my hard runs after that. He also pointed out that the tough part of a marathon pace long run, near the end, is exactly the training that I need for the marathon. To put the effort in there. I think that motivated me to follow what Pfitz and others say about fast finish long runs. I made myself do it each time. I gave up dragging my ass through long runs and took them more seriously.
I let the idea of confidence soak in. The steady words of a dear friend made the importance of this clear and the half marathon three weeks prior solidified that my goal of 3:42 was the right one.
I remember taking the el train downtown and thinking, I need to make this happen. Not "hope" or "wish". I just need to do what I came here for. And then standing around for 45 minutes in the corrals. I felt calm and just like I was biding my time, waiting to do the job. I had a plan to follow the 3:45 marathon pace group (8:35/mile) for about 8 miles or so to keep me under control, to not go out too fast but things went awry immediately after we got close to the start line (started in corral E) when I was completely engulfed by hundreds of people and lost sight of the group. I thought I would catch them but they just seemed to fade away farther ahead. I couldn't rely on the garmin for pacing and I just felt that I needed that group to mentally get me through the first half of the race. So I pushed to catch them and it took about two miles to do it. Stubbornly sticking with the idea of following them, I could see that as I passed miles 1 and 2 that I was way ahead of pace. I had vague thoughts of how utterly stupid that was, what a fucking rookie mistake. I had to remind myself of the other part of my plan which was to not use any more mental and/or physical energy than was absolutely necessary for the first 15 miles. So I told myself to let it go. Forget it and put it behind me. The first two miles didn't happen. I would relax. I would go easy. I would stay with the group and calm down for a while. That lasted for a few miles and then I just had some feeling that I wanted to be going faster. That it was kind of annoying in some way, being with them, and I just wanted to move a little. It was hard to move a little, being completely surrounded by people every second of the entire race. I spent a lot of energy going around people. In some ways, though, it was a good distraction and gave me something to do. I guess.
I had a lot of thoughts that I was going to need to readjust my goal to 3:45. That I would qualify for Boston but I had screwed things up and wasn't going to be able to do much more than that. I wasn't expecting to go all the way with this when I hit 1:50:59 for the half (1:50:50 second half). I did the math and thought about it. The second half would have to be exactly the same time as the first half to reach my goal of 3:42. That didn't seem possible. It felt like work even at the half and I thought that it wasn't supposed to feel that hard already. I was sweating. I was breathing. But the legs and lungs didn't protest too much so I just kept pushing.
I don't know why but I kept picking up the pace and I kept thinking that I need to slow down. Slow down. Back off. Get it under control. I happened to see stadjak at around mile 17 and asked him to keep me at 8:30s as I felt I was pushing it too hard, too fast. It was so helpful to have some assistance for a few miles in no man's land. I kept thinking to myself that I know he said he's dropping at 20 miles but maybe he'll stay out there with me and help me. I didn't know if I could do it on my own and it was only going to get harder. At mile 20 he gave me a pat on the back and said "go get 'em kid" and left me to my own devices.
The last miles were tough. At some point I saw the 3:45 pace group from corral D ahead and thought if I could just catch up with them, that would give me something to focus on and I could relax a bit. Another mile or two later and I was with them but that only lasted for a couple of miles when the pacer himself dropped out to hit the portapotty. Fuck. So I just got into the mindset that this is the race right here. This is going to feel like a 10k or a 5k or whatever and I need to put in that kind of effort. I started realizing that I may still have a chance for my goal. Maybe that helped me to not give in on the pace. I don't know. I was just surprised that my body was going along with all of this and was cooperating and not protesting.
Pushed it in for 3:41:49 and was so fucking happy to stop running that there was a cavalcade of "fucks" as I walked after the finish. Fuck, I qualified. Fuck, I don't have to run anymore. Fuck. Fuck, I don't have to run another marathon for a year and a half. Fuck I hit my goal. Fuck. Fuck it feels fucking good to not be running. Anyway, that makes it close to a 15 minute PR from last year and yes, a BQ -3:11. I'm happy. Gave it all I had.
First half - 1:50:59
Second half - 1:50:50
53F with 80% humidity at the start (lowered as the race went on). Few cool breezes were nice. Got up to 60 degrees by the end. Manual laps. Forgot to push lap button at mile 11.
Split min/mile
5K 08:26
10K 08:34
15K 08:31
20K 08:26
HALF 08:17
25K 08:25
30K 08:20
35K 08:31
40K 08:41
Finish 08:11