Notes
I ran 6 today.
And I should have stopped after 2 but I didn’t. I ran mad, and I ran sad and I ran crying the whole way.
My right IT Band was fine but iffy and my left one just raged from 1.5 on.
And I haven’t felt my right in a month and I haven’t felt my left since March. And they are both just angry. And I ran sad and mad and and didn’t care because I knew I wasn’t going to be able to tomorrow. Because it is going to be so long before I run healthy again. And I don’t think it’ll ever happen.
And fuck Wendy and her whole new system, because it hasn’t worked. And I should just train for a marathon because I hurt regardless of what I do or don’t do.
I’m careful everyday. I wear tennis shoes with dresses, I don’t dance at weddings, I don’t run with my kids, I do my PT exercises, I do everything right, and it makes no fucking difference.
How come I used to be able to run 60 miles per week being way less careful than I am now. And I used to be able to run free and run happy.
And I truly don’t believe that will ever happen again. It’s been 15 months. And it makes me so so so so sad.
And just fuck running and everything about it.