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I also fairly recently discovered I was lactose intolerant, and I agree it is difficult.
I might be able to shed some light on the pizza dilemma- lactose is a type of sugar, mildly sweet. Some manufacturers add lactose to bread products to add just a little bit of sweetness. it is possible that the part of the pizza that gives you troubles isn't the cheese at all but the crust.
Have you been tested to be sure you are lactose intolerant? Gluten intolerance shows really similar symptoms and most products with lactose contain gluten as well. You can do an at home test, which is what i did. Basically, just fast overnight for a minimum 12 hours. then drink a glass of milk. Don't eat or drink anything for 3-5 hours. If it's truly lactose intolerance, you should have a reaction in that time. Unpleasant, but good to know for sure.