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A Saucy Wench
I have become Death, the destroyer of electronic gadgets
"When I got too tired to run anymore I just pretended I wasnt tired and kept running anyway" - dd, age 7
Runners run
It doesnt have to be one or the other either. It is possible to race occasionally, and still put your life first. But yes, there are people who run for fitness and dont get interested in racing. Many of us start racing as a way to keep it interesting because we really want to be couch potatoes. My untrained psychopop analysis is that if dad wanted to deal with the rest of his life he would regardless of running, and if he werent running he would be finding other ways to avoid dealing with what he needs to deal with. Running is just a convenient excuse.
Sure there are people who run but don't race. There are also people who race but still manage to keep their priorities in order. People can become obsessive about anything. The problem here is not running or racing.
The Greatest of All Time
LPH
"Today I broke my record for most consecutive days lived!"
Interesting question. I know first hand about picking up exercise habits of your father. My dad worked out 7 days a week when I was growing up. He did a lot of weights mixed in with running and rowing. He always looked great. But I remember sometimes resenting the fact that he spent so much time working out when I wanted to throw a baseball around. I remember we always had to plan our days around my dad's workout schedule and as a kid, it did suck at times. As an adult with the same habits, however, I understand. In restrospect, I don't think my father's addiction to working out had a negative impact on our relationship. It was positive for me to see the dedication and healthy lifestyle, so I am today thankful he was that way for so long. I sort of stumbled into distance running when I was in the Army, which many years later lead to triathlon, etc. I finally started lifting in 2005. Like father like son. But my father has never entered a race. It was his dream that he would do a marathon with me but overtrained himself into injury. I can't tell anyone why I am racing again this year after taking almost 10 years off. I intially started racing because I worked at a running specialty store and we always timed the races. Therefore, I usually got to race for free. Then for some unknown reason I decided I want to do triathlons and so I did that. There is no way to know if you will feel the need to enter races or get more serious about running. Either way, you're still a runner. I know people that race just to be part of the running community where they live. There is a social aspect to it. Some people just have a very strong competitive side and need to race to scratch that itch. Perhaps some race to collect T-Shirts and hang out. Just from thinking and writing this post, I think I am racing again just to have events to gear my training towards. I am not as fast as I was in the past and probably won't be. I am no longer built like a typical distance runner since I took up lifting. For me, there is no social aspect to it because I am not friends with anyone in my area that runs or races. I don't have the need to hang out or collect T-shirts that I will never wear. So why do I bother? I like the excitement of waking up on race day and having 'that' feeling in the pit of my stomach. I like the buzz you feel around the starting line and I love the satisfaction of running through the finish line. I like listening to energetic music before the race to help psych me up. I even welcome the pain during the race because it makes me feel alive. But I could live without that as long as I could still run, and in my eyes I wouldn't be any less of a runner. I would just have a different purpose and there's nothing wrong with that.
My next door neighboor runs just about everyday and like your dad, runs a variety of distances. However he almost never does a race, he runs for the sake of running. I know of plenty of other runners who also never do races, my Dr (retired now) runs and had never run a race. On the other matter, I applaud you for your effort to try and find a common ground that you and your dad could share. I'm just the opposite of your dad,. I only started running at age 50 when my youngest was in college. I started running in secret so that I could surprise him and join him in a race, to find a common ground for us to share. Whether or not a works out for you and it brings you closer to your dad, I hope you are getting something out of it for yourself.
I feel very sorry that you're trying to reach out to your father and are not getting the desired response. My grandfather was like that, but obsessive with golf. I would try to talk golf with him but the conversations never went very far, just like you described. You couldn't get close to him emotionally, that's just how he was. But last September as my father, uncle, and I were looking at him in his coffin, I don't think either of us felt he didn't love the members of his family. He was just the way he was...emotionally distant. You can either accept it or bang your head up against a well trying to get a different response. Either way, you found your way to running and deep down inside you should thank him for that.
You can either accept it or bang your head up against a well trying to get a different response.
Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. (Heb. 12:1b) Mile by Mile
Or, you could just sit him down and have a heart-to-heart. Or maybe just a more casual conversation. Or write him a letter. If you haven't already done so, perhaps letting him know how you're feeling will open his eyes. Spill your guts. Life is short.
I'm glad you've found your way to running, because it seems to be bringing you joy. My dad and I are opposites here. He runs because he enjoys it. He never ran longer than about 10 kms, and he runs about 5 kms three or four times a week now (he turns 70 tomorrow!). He never ran a race in his life--I don't think he was competitive about it or cared to. I'm pretty competitive--ran track in middle and high school. Though I found other ways to be competitive later and gained a bit of weight, I found my way back to running last year. No one fields 400m races for middle-of-the-pack 30-somethings, so I had to train to run longer distances, something I never did when I was younger. My dad finds it amazing that I've run 13.1 miles, even more amazing that I raced it. I hope you're not running just toward your dad--you may find that journey disappointing. Running for its own sake, however, is likely to bring you good health and good friends. Running itself, though, doesn't make anyone what they are not. Which should be a comfort to you--you are not going to turn into your dad. You're taking what he gave you--a good idea--and making it your own. Run on!