It was only 13!

 

But I told her it was going to be 12 (it was my best guess) and when we were at 11 and someone said it was at least another 2 miles to go, I got a really really bad look :P

 

I had a really fucking hard day.

 

First several miles felt easy, I found a little pack to hang with and everything was great. Started feeling nauseous around mile 10 and switched over to Tailwind early hoping I could stave off the inevitable. Hung on to my pack through like 19 or 20 maybe, but once I made the call that I had to stop and puke at the next water stop I just mentally checked out. Fucking walk-jogged my way to the end and it sucked. I tried to be tough but there's only so much nausea that you can tough your way through.

 

I'm wildly disappointed, crying in my bathroom and not sure what I'll do from here. Legs feel okay so I'll take a couple days off and go from there.

A marathon will drain you as much mentally as physically.  So don't make any drastic decisions for at least a few weeks.

And I doubt that there are many who have run one or more marathons that don't have an experience like your's that they can use to feel great empathy towards your case.

Not having any knowledge as to your goal for this marathon, and just looking at your past races and your pacing on this one, I'd have to say this was not bad - not bad at all.  Your training log shows you've put in the work and if the nausea issue can be addressed you could make a marked improvement in your next effort.

OK I might be done moping for now. I have some food in me and feel mostly human again. Marathons are stupid (but I'll run another one next year, whether it's spring or fall or something in between for last-minute BQ attempt).

 

Next goal: kick a 5K in the teeth. At least I know how to race that distance the right way, and my PR is almost a year old. My legs are feeling surprisingly good right now. I think running 23 in training at the tail end of a 60 mpw block took more out of me physically, though it is a distinct possibility that I'll be changing my tune tomorrow. Still deserve a break of some sort after 20 weeks of training, so I'll for sure take off tomorrow and Tuesday at the least and won't get back to workouts for a couple weeks.

Let me offer what will most likely be a contrarian opinion - and based totally on my own experience - which counts for nothing for anyone but me.

You are in the best shape of your life.  Find another marathon 10 to 12 weeks out and go get it.  Reverse taper up for the next three weeks, 4 to 6 weeks of basic marathon training, and a three week taper down.  Run conservatively for the first 18 and then let what will happen, happen.

We now return to our regular scheduled programming.

Let me offer what will most likely be a contrarian opinion - and based totally on my own experience - which counts for nothing for anyone but me.

 

You are in the best shape of your life.  Find another marathon 10 to 12 weeks out and go get it.  Reverse taper up for the next three weeks, 4 to 6 weeks of basic marathon training, and a three week taper down.  Run conservatively for the first 18 and then let what will happen, happen.

 

We now return to our regular scheduled programming.

Well as long as I'm not making rash decisions with the emotional toll of the marathon still upon me, I'll keep this option open too!

though it is a distinct possibility that I'll be changing my tune everyday for the next 62 weeks and may never figure it out. 

Truth.

 

It was only 13!

 

But I told her it was going to be 12 (it was my best guess) and when we were at 11 and someone said it was at least another 2 miles to go, I got a really really bad look :P

 

Great day on the trails and I'm pooped.  Mandatory elevation post -

Wife said it wasn't that hilly.  IT WAS 13 MILES OF UPHILL!

OK I might be done moping for now. I have some food in me and feel mostly human again. Marathons are stupid (but I'll run another one next year, whether it's spring or fall or something in between for last-minute BQ attempt).

 

Next goal: kick a 5K in the teeth. At least I know how to race that distance the right way, and my PR is almost a year old. My legs are feeling surprisingly good right now. I think running 23 in training at the tail end of a 60 mpw block took more out of me physically, though it is a distinct possibility that I'll be changing my tune tomorrow. Still deserve a break of some sort after 20 weeks of training, so I'll for sure take off tomorrow and Tuesday at the least and won't get back to workouts for a couple weeks.

I was gonna say, just like you don't send an email when you're still angry, don't post after a marathon until you've had some cooldown time.

This was your first fucking marathon. Cut yourself some slack. Nothing can ever prepare you for your first. There are of course some exceptions, ahem Eric, but your experience is more the rule than the exception.

I have a BQ so I can now give advice.  I would take it really easy the next 2-3 weeks, regardless of how your legs may feel. Give your body & mind some recovery time. But then going after a 5k is a great idea. I am personally not agreeing with bluesky's suggestion. What's the hurry? You are young & have plenty of time, you can wait till at least spring for another. By then you will have more accumulated mileage & another dedicated training cycle, and should have a better shot at a significant improvement than if you rushed into another one now. I think you have the 3:35 fitness in you, but extrapolating that to actual marathon performance is always a crapshoot, especially early in your marathoning career. Keep at it & you'll get there.

 I have a BQ so I can now give advice.

We're witnessing history here folks.