Notes
Okay, a long introduction for how the race went at Nationals (Actual race stuff at the end):
I have spent a few days just thinking about how I exactly want to write this log. At the end of the race is the saddest I have even been at the end of a race since highschool. It is one of those few races I think about all the time. It was an indoor 3k at the Yale indoor track. We were expecting a pretty bad snow storm, so had to leave extra early the morning of to drive down. Getting there in the nick of time we all left to warm up. Warm up went fine, the freshly fallen snow made the roads around New Haven much more scenic to run through and it was warmer than it had been in weeks. Strides and skips felt difficult, but that isn’t too unusual especially when we have to do them in the small section past the spike check in. Getting off the line went better than expected, especially for a crowded race on a banked track. Needless to say the race went progressively downhill since then. Every lap more and more difficult, however I continually fell further and further back. I saw my parents and my coaches’ faces cheering for me and I wanted out of the race, but not finishing is never an option. My teammate either got my sister’s school record or came close to it. The two of them cooled down inside, while I went right out the door after changing shoes in shorts and a T-shirt and promptly started crying. As I ran and cried all I had for myself was self-pity, for running so poorly, for not being as fast as either of my two teammates, for having to be there when my sister’s record was broken, etc., etc. Right then I found out that I had goals to run fast, even though I had not explicitly stated them or maybe had not trained as much as I should have.
Back to Nationals, when coach told me that I had missed all American by 1 place and a second and I was really upset. I realized then I had set the goal to be all American at the end of cross country last year, knowing it was a long shot. I just thought how much of a waste of time the whole season had been and that I missed my first and only chance of being All American in cross country. I was devastated, crying on my cool down, but this time I had my teammates. I sad this time, not out of self-pity, but because I missed a goal I really wanted to achieve (on my last cross country race ever) And then Loki and I called it quits after 5 minutes on the cool down.
Looking back the only thing I would have done differently this season is state my ambitious goal and actively work towards it. I think that would have helped me to achieve it during the race.
This has been the biggest year of growth I have had. After all these years it has finally hit me how important and even enjoyable training is. And I’ve discovered just how amazing every person on our team is. I can’t thank everyone enough…after all it has never been about the destination, but the journey and these 4 years of cross country have been the best, most memorable journey yet. In highschool I never imagined running competitively in college. Freshmen year it felt as if it took too much time away from other activities I could be doing, I remember rushing out of practice to get started on homework. Senior year I can’t imagine college being interesting without running and I actually enjoy hanging around doing hip mobility and talking with everyone. The school work still gets done, but I enjoy every day so much more than freshmen year. In highschool I never even thought I could be good at running, but I’ve learned hard work does pay off and summer training is enjoyable :) And hey someone has to be 36th.
Freshmen year of college I couldn’t imagine wanting to run after college, but now I can’t wait for the next challenge in my running career and learning a thing or 2 about creating workout schedules while I’m at it.
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Splits:
Dist Place Time Pace
1000m 141 3:34.7 5:46
2000m 107 7:15.0 5:51
(2nd 2k) 3:40.3 5:55
(last 4k) 14:32.0 5:51
6000m 36 21:47.0 5:51
Standing on the line I was probably less nervous than most races. It was cold, but not overly cold that I decided gloves were enough (no arm sleeves needed). Strides were kind of a pain because the start line was really crowded and girls kept running at me. Gun goes off, first 200 meters tough, very cold wind. Coming around the left bend I moved to the outside to start moving up to a better position. Did a good job of continually moving up. I was overwhelmed by the amount of people in the race and was very frustrated how difficult it was to tell if I was passing more people or getting past by more people. Was really confused coming through the first mile and seeing Megan Kellogg up ahead. Couldn’t figure out if that had meant I went out too fast or she was having a bad race. I always get mental blocks like that. Kept looking for Jaime because I really wanted to find her, however never did. Tried to stay focused and keep picking off people. The whole race I tried to keep my eye out for the 5k mark by the porta potties, however for some reason I completely missed it!!!!!! Heard everyone down the last stretch right before the left turn into the 400m to go mark yelling at me to pass a few more since I was 40th, confused since I thought we had not reached 5k yet but I still responded to the encouragement. After making the left turn and running about 100m I saw the finish line and then just realized how close the end was. Really started to kick it in, knowing I had not done my pick up like I had planned on at the 5k. Lisa snuck up on me, causing me to run even faster. I did not want to lose another place, knowing it could mean losing all-American. All in all, pretty upset about this being my last cross country race ever (and only nationals race) since I didn’t give it my all, didn’t come in with clear goals, didn’t have a specific race plan. If I could do it all again I would determine ways to keep track of how far into the race I was and how much I had left. Ambitious goals hurt when you work hard to achieve them and miss them, but I think I’m ready to make some ambitious goal for track. I think the risk of some tears at the end of a race is well worth the chance of achieving exciting PR’s and such….and now it’s just time to dream up some.
However, it was an extremely fun trip :) and I’m extremely grateful I was able to go. It was an awesome surprise that Rob and the guys (+Hannah) came down to watch, just made me realize how lucky I am. And I was so happy my parents came out to watch! All in all a great experience