Notes
Chyeah. So. Last counties ever. Was sorely disappointed. Like, the worst part about it was that I was too tired to even feel tired. Like, I just felt pretty much nothing in my legs, so I'm like "Okay, let me pick up the pace" and I just had no idea whether or not I was. I was at 7:54 for the mile, 16:15 for the two, and then 26:49 for the finish. So like, I guess my last mile was about 10 minutes, which completely sucks. But I just didn't even feel tired, I didn't feel anything at all. I just felt sort of dead inside. And like, I remember coming out of the woods and there was this Arundel girl who I had been switching on and off with, and she came out a little behind me, and she came up to me and we just started going. But right at the last turn, I started picking it up, and she responded, and just shot out, and I literally just said "Oh well." I gave up. Just like that. I had nothing left to give.
It just sucks so bad to get slower and slower the more you train. Like, instead of taking 2.5 minutes off my 5K, I added over that amount. By running harder. It just doesn't make much sense.
I just hurts to wonder how fast I could've been. How much potential I could've had if things had worked out. But they didn't, and it's too late, and it's all pretty much over. I'll never get to run cross country ever again, and it was the one thing that I ever was any good at. I just hate feeling like everything is so futile. Nothing ever pays off.
Last year when I just missed being All-County, they told me "There's always next year." But they were wrong. Everyone was dead wrong. I should've taken those 4.2 seconds when I could've, instead of waiting to take a chance on something that was never going to happen. It's all just a lost oppurtunity.
And the worst thing is, I would've put myself through it all over again, just to be able to go up to the person that beat me out and the last turn, pat her on the back, and say "Good job, you did awesome."
So how's it feel to be the slowest senior girl in the entire county? I'm the only person that knows.