Notes
Ok I severely fucked up. I practically caused that fever, it was purely caused by my anxiety and stupidity stressing over food and my body and things that don't even correlate to running performance. I'm in bloody amazing fitness, ive done more than anyone has done to bloody well prepare for this season, and I am going to succeed. This hard work will not go to waste, I will succeed, I will not be viewed as a fucking loser. This morning I am feeling fine, fever gone, it was purely caused by the that subconscious stress of food. Tom has done shit compared to me, I have about 10 weeks of fucking training on Aadiraaj, I will fucking beat them next friday night meet. I should be running ridiculously fast now but my eating stupidity is stopping me from doing that, my training was going fine, so of course I needed something to stress over and of course that was food. This was what went wrong, now I will relax understanding the determinants of stress I will eat normally and well, I will run to full fucking potential and beat everyone who has no place beating me right now. Sitting there at that meet closed up, not talking to anybody was stupidity, I was stressed and isolated. My “fever” was just going higher and higher, this needs to change. Relax, relax, relax.